You can read my experiences trying to learn to fly here.


I, Titanic.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      1 comments      link this post     


There are many things about this that make me laugh, not the least of which is the fact that I can't say that I either disagree or agree with it.


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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      7/15/2008 01:47:00 PM      (1) comments      Links to this post    

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Two prayers.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


::This is the Sunday School lesson I prepared for today. It was a little last-minute-ish...::

Two Prayers - Upload a Document to Scribd
Read this document on Scribd: Two Prayers


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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      7/06/2008 12:02:00 AM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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Struggle.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


I "struggle" with gluttony.

What do you "struggle" with?

We should both stop "struggling". Now. Don't you think?

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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      6/22/2008 07:26:00 PM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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Married to methods.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


I attended church at Evangel Temple in Bismarck this morning. The sermon was about pastoral authority and other sub-sets of that (which sounds like a sermon of browbeating, but was not).

The message covered the first part of 1 Corinthians 9, and essentially dealt with three questions in the church:
The pastor had some very good things to say about the first two, but what really struck me was his concise summation on the third point regarding ministry method and the cry of "compromise!" so often heard in some corners of Christendom.

In my notes, I jotted down some of the ideas the pastor presented:

Regarding Paul's statement that he has become all things to all people so that more would be saved:
There were a number of other good points in the message today, but these stick out in particular due to my own online experience of excessive time wasted fighting with other Christians about method disguised as being arguments about message. As the pastor said, we find it easy and comfortable to argue amongst ourselves about method when the world is dying from not hearing the message.

This is a valuable thing to talk about. Much energy gets wasted fighting about the kind of music to sing, or on warning each other of "dangerous" methods and, subsequently, ministers who use methods we aren't used to. So often, a theology is wrapped around methods which makes any attack on those methods appear as an attack on our "correct" theology. Some things that come to mind are music and worship styles, and women in leadership in the church*.



* Please read this book regarding women in the church. Even if you are a John MacArthur devotee and believe him to be correct in his position that women have no place of leadership in church, I would recommend it. I would especially recommend it, in that case.

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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      6/15/2008 03:42:00 PM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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Guise in disguise.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


It is impossible.

After a long absence, while cleaning out my bookmark folders, I wound up back on an old site I'd said goodbye to. I read with disinterest; the edge had long worn off in absence, I found. Despite that, all else seemed the same; same writers, mostly, and same commenters (plus a few new ones who had adapted to the nature of the beast). Same tone, same arguments, same jabs, same ploys. I went to the page that outlined the challenge, for the challenge was there, indeed.

Our challenge in fighting this spirit is to refrain from stooping to the same levels, to refrain from employing the same tactics.

Can you refrain from the same tactics if you forget what they are? Can I answer the critics, the wet blankets, the naysayers, the attackers, without becoming one myself? Can I use sarcasm and satire to successfully respond without stopping, using nothing but asterisks and hash marks and the hope that readers won't take it wrong? Should I even try to be witty and get some kind of verbal upper hand if my goal is to avoid employing those same tactics?

This morning I had an interesting discussion with a couple of friends over the concept of distance learning, and how, despite the very best possibilities and even degree to which it may seem successful, it is always inferior to being there in person with the teacher.

Online discussion, particularly in the religious realm, is inferior. It is impersonal.

You can tell me all you want about the valuable information and educational element, but there is no way around it: it has nothing to do with the person.

Jesus was personal. He was about the person.

Touching. Speaking aloud. Looking. Crying. Writing in the sand in the moment, surrounded in person by the angry mob he was writing to. Remaining silent.

Blogs and forums, and the wicked sharp comment zingers and blog-off-shoots, are not about the person. They are not about love. By their very nature and requisite replies, they have nothing to do with humility. They are only answering back, in a kind of echo, and nothing more.

Silence is not the weakness people think it is. Giving no answer is a strong answer; it forces the clamor to die down and the yapping dogs to starve. Remaining quiet in the midst of attack or accusation has a great precedent. There is no need to defend beyond simple statement. No rejoinder. No need for verbal coup d'etat.

Our challenge is to find that middle ground where holiness, humility and grace meet.

What if the middle ground does not hold those qualities? Who longs for the middle ground but the middler-grounder?

Is it possible for humility exist in responding to critics or those I disagree with? Can humility exist in the clamor and rancor? So often humility exists in the silence of not having the last word, the silence of restraint, the silence of allowing the other person the triumphant moment and trusting that in time, God will do His work.

Can holiness exist in sarcasm and verbal barbs? Is it enough to extol grace while using the excuse that because Jesus went after the Pharisees, I ought to, too? Can I be anything but a mirror image of those I respond to, when my aim is very much to respond?

Time away from all of these blogs has given me fresh eyes, and I don't doubt that someone -- perhaps a late night web surfer interested in the person of Jesus Christ -- stumbling upon either variety of blog would turn away disgusted.

The idea is noble, the desire may be true, but the medium's effect on the message can't be disguised.

Less words, more faith. Less words, more works. Less words.

I continued to clear out my bookmarks and blogroll. I am not yet fully decided on the value of online religious debate and discussion, but I think I am getting close.


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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      5/27/2008 10:50:00 PM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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Growing smaller.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


It's the anti-Prayer of Jabez. It's not seeing growth and success through growing and getting bigger, but by getting smaller. Sounds backwards, right?

A successful organization gets bigger. A church should get bigger. More. More. Our definition of all things good somewhere includes the idea of "growth."

A frustration I felt in my first year's of involvement in Nicaragua was that I couldn't seem to do much good. I could do a little good, but not much good. It was overwhelming, all the needs. I -- and others in my group -- couldn't meet them all. It was easy to think that, if we couldn't help everyone, we couldn't help anyone. Too much territory to cover! I have gotten past that, somewhat, into seeing the value of taking what little money I have and helping a few people and really loving them and making it more about sharing what's God's money, anyway, not worrying if that money could be "better used" for "the greater good" and for "more people."

On page 319 of Shane Claiborne's The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an ordinary radical*, he makes a statement that would confuse most of American Christianity, which has been thoroughly Americanized into "bigger is better" thinking. Claiborne takes a different turn:
God's kingdom grows smaller and smaller as it takes over the world.

He then goes on to quote Mother Teresa:

We can do not great things, only small things with great love. It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing it.

No, I can't help them all, and trying to do so will only leave me angry and frustrated and with an excuse to quit helping at all.

But I can help one.

It might not seem to matter, in the larger picture, if one life is made slightly better when thousands around are in misery. But...it matters to that one.

Just one, maybe. That's what God has placed in my path, and I need to be faithful in just that one. Maybe God needs to see that I'm faithful in that before anything else. Maybe he wants me to understand that there's no shortage of power and money in His grasp and that He isn't asking me to think I'm a little god with a wallet to solve lots of problems and set out to change the entire world.

It goes against our idea of "wise use of resources", that we should make our dollar go as far as we can to help as many as we can, for that seems fair and wise and evidence of a good steward. And, it helps us cover that enlarged territory we think we've been given.

I don't know. Start small. Learn to love and trust and work and be satisfied and confident in the small. If we can't do that, we certainly aren't ready to work big.

Just start with one. Make a difference in that one life. It matters very much.




* I highly recommend that you go out and buy that book. It'll ruin your life as you now know it, and for the better.

Note: This post was pre-written and published as scheduled. Read more about this here.

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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      5/21/2008 05:13:00 AM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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Christians and criticism.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


Here's another Sunday School lesson.

Sunday School Lesson - Criticism - Upload a doc
Read this doc on Scribd: Sunday School Lesson - Criticism


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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      5/10/2008 11:22:00 PM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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The question isn't the point.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      1 comments      link this post     


Something about the question, "How much of the Bible can a person not believe and still be okay?", tells me the person asking it may be fairly far down a path that would negate any need for any belief in the Bible.

Let's try a few different "translations" of that question:
Now, I suppose there could be argument about what belief in the Bible means, which could quickly, in the case of say, creation, evolve (sorry for the pun) into a debate not on whether a person believed in the Biblical account but on how they interpreted it.

Regardless, I don't want to make a habit of trying to find the least amount required. Because, in the case of following Christ, the concept of requirement and doing as little as possible means you've missed the boat entirely and, unless you happen to believe that Jesus actually walked on water, missing the boat means you're pretty much stuck on dry land.

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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      5/05/2008 12:42:00 PM      (1) comments      Links to this post    

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Taking up the cross.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


In an email to a friend, in which I identified with his current struggles and sadness, I talked about how I seem to repeatedly give my worries and troubles to God but refuse to let Him keep them:

[It's that] daily struggle of picking up Christ's cross daily and not also picking up the junk of our own that he wants us to let him hold. We can't carry both. We can't pick up the cross and carry it if our hands and our shoulders are already full of worries and concerns over things that we can't control anyway.

Luke 9:23 tells us we need to deny ourselves, take up the cross daily, and follow Christ. The larger passage of Luke 9:23-27 has always been difficult and puzzling to me* on many levels (verse 27, for example), but the section on picking up the cross I've began to understand differently.

23 And He was saying to them all, If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. 24 For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. 25 For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself? 26 For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory, and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. 27 But I say to you truthfully, there are some of those standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God.

I've heard verse 23 preached as if the concept of deny was solely about shedding comforts, wants, control, or the things we hold onto that are based in love of self. That seems to be the easy and obvious meaning, and the more useful one to preach to keep us all on task from being selfish and lazy. But as I've come to think about what it means to pick up the cross daily, some questions came to mind.

What is the cross? Is it the same as Jesus' yoke, which is light? Why did Jesus have to remind us to take it up every day? What is it about us that would cause us to say we follow Christ but need to be reminded to make the decision to do it each day? What does that tell me about the nature of being a follower of Christ? And why do I have to deny myself in order to pick up the cross each day?

For some people, sadness, depression, and even self-hatred are like huge boulders weighing down upon the heart and soul all the time, daily. The burden is tremendous, even though it is selfish in its own way, since focus on self leads to a view of problems seeming larger than they are, a skewed perspective on life. It is both unwanted but difficult to let go of. The weight of that burden makes it impossible to carry anything or anyone else. It is all encompassing and bottomless and dark and the thought of picking up the cross seems unbearable, even too much to ask, even if the cross is the method by which we are helped to release that onerous weight and be free.

How can I carry the cross when I am carrying all the destructive things God wants to take from me?

In this way, I must deny myself the easy darkness I slip into, that uncomfortable comfort of sadness, in order to pick up the cross.

I closed out my email with this:

I'll keep praying for you. You do the same for me. It helps to pray for others, I've found, because I stop focusing on my problems as I lift another up in prayer and then I find that while I did that, Christ lifts me up.

Deny your SELF. Pick up the cross daily.

Lift up others and be lifted up.




* I'm sure theologically educated brothers and sisters in Christ can tell me the proper context, the original meanings of the original languages, and use their knowledge to wipe away these questions, but frankly, I'm not interested. I believe all that education is well and good, but that if the Bible truly is inspired and God reveals it to us as we read it, such knowledge is not a requirement. And, that sometimes, such knowledge is a stumbling block for those who grow comfortable in it.

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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      5/01/2008 10:29:00 AM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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Action and planning.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


::We've been using K.P. Yohannan's book Reflecting His Image in our Sunday School class. Here is the lesson for tomorrow that I've been working on today. I'm using both chapters nine ("Starting from Zero") and ten ("Giving up the good") to make up this lesson.::


Action or Distraction?

"Active habits are strengthened by repetition but passive ones are weakened. The more often [a man] feels without acting, the less he will ever be able to act, and, in the long run, the less he will be able to feel."
-- C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

I. "Doing" or "Being" Good
II. Regaining Focus from All That Good

Planning, In the Flesh

I. Room for planning?
II. What faith requires
III. Not in the flesh

Summary



Links of interest related to topics raised here:


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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      3/15/2008 07:53:00 PM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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When the glory leaves.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


::We've been using K.P. Yohannan's book Reflecting His Image in our Sunday School class. Here is the lesson from last Sunday that I taught, using chapter one ("Clinging to the Shadows").::


Passage of scripture: 1 Samuel 4:1-10

Q. What happened here? Why were the Israelites not victorious, like they had been in similar battles in the past?

Q. Were their actions or the method of how they took the Ark into battle wrong? i.e. Didn't they do it like they always had in the past, or was their failure due to something they forgot to do?

I. God's Glory Leaves?

II. Keeping God's Glory

Final thoughts:


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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      3/15/2008 07:30:00 PM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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Banking on God.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


Dan Edelen has been running polls regarding Christians and money on his blog for a short while, and he now has posts up with the results. Check them out:

I'll keep adding links to Dan's posts on this series. It should be interesting.

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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      3/04/2008 03:57:00 PM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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Negative positive affirmation.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


::This post is the background for "Poster Myths" over on the Lone Prairie Blog.::

Instead of typing in my notes and scribbles, I thought I'd let you get a peek at one of the ways I work through (and sometimes I never make it "through" to a conclusion) a concept that I'm writing about. Ideas that appear and theories that change, a concept that never fully develops, or something left hanging that I can't seem to quite understand -- that's all there.

You can read all seven (yeah, seven...I'm long-winded even in long hand) pages as a PDF by clicking here.

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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      2/26/2008 07:31:00 PM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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Sacrifice doesn't sell.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      1 comments      link this post     


A post at JollyBlogger caught my attention. Entitled "Branding Jesus", the post contains links more on the topic of the commercialization and merchandising of Christianity.

This past Sunday, during Sunday School, I somehow found myself saying that the reason we don't see commercials and ad campaigns selling the cost of discipleship is because sacrifice doesn't sell. People don't buy into being told to pick up their cross daily and forsake all else.

Now, Jesus-themed T-shirts and bracelets, they sell. For the sacrifice of a few bucks, you can be branded and join a group.

Those things have little to do with Christianity and more with capitalism, though, don't they?

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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      2/22/2008 09:03:00 PM      (1) comments      Links to this post    

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Feeding stations.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


Though I can't toss out the entire past few centuries of church, I also can't shake the feeling that something about our concept of doing and being and attending church is off. Two books I've been reading (The Great Giveaway, and Pagan Christianity) seemed to have appeared on the radar at about the right time for me, giving me much to mull over. Both books seriously question the traditions, methods, habits and alliances we've created that are, without thinking, necessary to do/be church.

So, I read this post and get to a quote the writer included towards the bottom:

We CRAVED the word of God. WE CRAVED the preaching of the gospel. We were starving and wasting away spiritually.... Was it difficult to leave? Yes. Were we sad to leave our brothers and sisters? Yes. Did we have to go? Yes. And the Lord has made up for all that we had to leave behind.

It's that annoying concept of feeding. No, it's not one of hunger for the Lord, but one of expecting to be fed. There is a difference. I wrote in an earlier post about the oft-heard idea of "not being fed" used as a reason to leave churches.

I'm not going to judge this or any other person as to why they leave a church. The original post I linked to, plus its comments and its own links, can provide enough conversation for all sides. I simply wish to, again, question 1) our concept of viewing church as a place where we go to passively be fed and 2) our concept of the church being a body we can leave if we find our own reasons to do so.

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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      2/20/2008 07:28:00 PM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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As we are led, we follow.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


::You could think of this as part two of this earlier post.::

Sometimes I find myself in heated discussions with fellow Christians about women and submission to men. I know I often come off as belligerent and unwilling to submit, but that has never -- never! -- been my intention. I will follow a good leader willingly. A good leader does not demand to be followed at threat of shame, damnation, or exclusion. A good leader is such that there is no need to ask for followers; people want to follow a good leader.

Christ is our example of a leader, and our following him is the example of a follower submitting to the leader. We follow as well as we are led, and a man arguing a woman into the ground, demanding that she submit, is not the example Christ provided for leadership. It is no small wonder, with our human definitions of what a leader is, that people rebel against authority. Our human version of authority is severely tainted by sin. Our version of leadership is full of pride and love of power and envy and control.

Leading by forced submission, out of love for control, or out of a need to remain at a higher level creates rebellion, anger, dissatisfaction and hatred in those forced to follow.

Leadership has nothing to do with control of the follower, but instead, is a form of severe love for the follower. The love of the follower by the leader makes the follower want to follow, makes the follower want to be loyal.

Did you catch that? Makes someone want. It's the idea of total free will and totally predestined that I talked briefly about here.

Most people will follow a good leader. And most women will follow a husband if he leads like Christ, for there is no need to worry about degradation, subservience, or any kind of abuse. Christ's example of leadership was as a servant, and full of severe love.

Christ leads. We follow. It trickles down into all areas of life, if we could only adhere even just a little bit to his perfect example.


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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      2/13/2008 08:07:00 PM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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The way is not in me.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      0 comments      link this post     


::A small book arrived in the mail today, from David Wilkerson's ministry. It contained various verses that were his favorites. It included the one used in this post.::

I know, O LORD, that a man's way is not in himself,
Nor is it in a man who walks to direct his steps.
Correct me, O LORD, but with justice;
Not with Your anger, or You will bring me to nothing.
-- Jeremiah 10:23-24


The second line grabbed me. The way is not in a man who walks to direct his steps.

I never thought of that, of how I sometimes find myself randomly doing something, whether I say it's for God or not, just because I hope the action will end up being the direction. In essence, I am walking not to walk, not to go somewhere, not to follow -- no. I am walking to find direction.

As a Christian, I should already know the direction.

I say I am a follower of Christ, but how often do I forget what is required to follow?

I don't lead.

I don't walk to find direction.

I follow. The direction of the leader is my direction. If I am following Christ, he is my direction. Everything I do should point in his direction. It should all point to him.

This sounds like a Sunday school answer to "what should I do with my life", but it isn't. It doesn't matter what I do with my life, or even if I know what I'm doing when I'm doing it, or if I'm struggling to understand the direction I'm headed, as long as whatever I'm doing points to my leader.

Christ leads. I follow. That is my direction.

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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger      2/13/2008 07:50:00 PM      (0) comments      Links to this post    

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He sees we do not see.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      1 comments      link this post     


Jesus sees that we do not see.

"Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing."

Who else says that?

Forgives in spite of blindness.
Forgives when the blind insist they see, and see correctly.
Forgives us for our too-small minds that insist they are bigger.
Forgives our too-little understanding.
Forgives our emotion-based reaction.
Forgives our best intention gone wrong.
Forgives our human motives.
Forgives us our own misunderstanding.
Forgives us when we demand others see as we do, in our blindness.

He sees we do not see.

I am reminded of my extreme blindness.

And so I ask him to forgive me.
And to help me to see.


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