Julie R. Neidlinger: Lone Prairie Art Works

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You can read my experiences trying to learn to fly, which is here.

A friendly Post Office ghost.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this post

It was a few years ago when I became aware of the "friendly ghost" that lived in the Old Post Office (a.k.a. Lake Region Heritage Center) in Devils Lake, North Dakota. (No, it wasn't Casper.) Through conversation, I heard about Lillian Wineman and her connection to the museum that is now located in the Old Post Offices building. Wineman had many items that were donated and are on display in some of the rooms that are set up to look like historical locations.

The theory is that Wineman is still around, watching over her stuff. And they always said you can't take it with you...

She doesn't like people touching her stuff that on display, it seems, which makes me want to go there and touch some stuff and see for my own, skeptic self.

Of course, Devils Lake already has a sea monster, so I guess the ghost was the next likely step.*

You can read more about the here. You can find visitor information here and here.

* I can't imagine why the SciFi channel isn't all over the place, what with a sea monster (perfect for SciFi movie material) and the ghost (perfect for that ridiculous Ghost Hunters show).

Labels: local, tour north dakota

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I caricature myself out of envy.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 6 comments link this post

This graphic makes me giggle*. It leads to a blog called Milo's Turf Tips. Milo is one of the anchors of WDAZ, the "local" news (which is out of Grand Forks and really, all things considered, not so local).

The Quest for the Perfect Lawn is the sub name of the blog (which makes me want a sub name for my own blog).

There have been other quests throughout history, real and fictional. This includes the Holy Grail. Aeneas. Gilgamesh. Odysseus. Dorothy. Frodo.

But Milo is going for the perfect lawn.

This is a quest only a few select people have. It seems like a MacGuffin, serving little purpose than taking up some time on the nightly news and getting a few sponsors to put low-res graphics on the blog. I admire the panache, though. Why settle for bringing down Mordor when you can have the perfect lawn?

The perfect lawn, in my book, involves grass that does not grow. All else is irrelevant. It does not matter what it looks like otherwise, and requires no further work. Yet, I envy Milo's graphic, the professionalism of it, the "we're big league now" effect it lends to the WDAZ web site. The fact that sans serif font was used is also a plus for me.

I must have one of my own.

And, as you see, I do.

*And, admittedly, the blog itself.

Labels: cartoons, humor, local

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Numbers 32:23.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 5 comments link this post

I heard the Schwan man pull up in the yard. His truck has a distinctive sound.

Schwan's food is good. It's expensive. It's mostly not on the South Beach Diet. There are some items, though, that we can eat. But the thing is, we don't eat it up every two weeks, which is when he comes, and so I find myself hiding from him.

Like today.

I pretended I was not home. I figured he'd never know and it wouldn't be any big deal.

Obviously, mature adults would come to the door and say something like "so sorry, we just don't need anything at this time."

I prefer to just hide around the corner of the entryway.

I forced the nice fellow to leave a "sorry I missed you" sticker and catalog on the door, wasted his time, and stole from his commission. But we just don't have any more room in the freezer and we're still working our way through the last order.

Later, I drove into town to mail some letters. There, parked in front of the post office, was the Schwan's truck; he was delivering an order to the postmaster.

Great. Guilt. Be sure your sin will find you out.

I stopped in the grocery store and bought a carton of milk to kill time and perhaps avoid running into the guy, even though we didn't really need milk, either.

"I'm hiding from the Schwan man," I told the woman in the grocery store.

People in town know I'm weird, so they let such things slide.

The Schwan man, however, was still at the post office.

Drat.

Like any confident, shame-free adult, I marched into the post office (with my head lowered and avoiding any gaze), mailed my letters, and left.

Being me is very difficult. I can only imagine what being around me is like.

Labels: humor, local, my life

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Devils Lake's own she-wolf.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

Sculpture groupings should not be haphazard, or the end up looking as bad as "add-on" architecture.

The classic case would be the "She-wolf of the Capitol", or, I suppose as the proper name, the Capitoline Wolf. Etruscan wolf with...little suckling humans added on later. It's a sculpture that nearly drove me insane while studying art history in college.

What were they thinking? The styles -- none of it -- is coherent! I would think as we discussed the reasons the 15th century babies were later added to a much older sculpture. The margins of my notebook are filled with unreasonable and insane ramblings about the propensity for humans to keep adding on. I also had many grumpy-looking drawings. I was highly dissatisfied.

Yes, in keeping with the theme of "posts on subjects that matter little", I am going to tell you about the sculpture grouping in Devils Lake that seems to have slipped past the point of no return.

It started as a very nice sculpture of five geese flying, in memory of a man who had died. This was eventually located at the corner where Highway 19 and 17 intersect in Devils Lake. Then, a piece of WW2-era captured Japanese artillery was added on a concrete base just off to the side of the geese grouping.

Hmmm. What's the message here? I thought the first time I drove past the burgeoning "sculpture park." I knew the city of New Rockford had some a tank and a Vietnam-era (I think) helicopter situated near the highway, but those were all military in origin and the effect was one of a memorial of a number of different wars.

This was...artillery and geese.

Later, after much fuss in the paper after a private citizen purchased a life-size bronze sculpture of a soldier holding a rifle at rest and stuck it out in the same general area -- The Park Board was upset! Did they now have to put up with caring for any sculpture that a person wanted to stick out there?! -- and so then I started to feel that the very nice geese were out of place.

At some point, unbeknownst to me, three more identical soldier figures were purchased, and set at each corner of the artillery piece. There is also a huge, full-color eagle figure somewhere to the back off all of this, flanked by flags, in frozen near-take-off.

The effect is, in my opinion, weird.

I can't find a better word than weird.

We can't just go around sticking sculpture together! A sculptural grouping must be planned or else it becomes like add-on architecture in which styles and materials don't match and the lack of cohesiveness gives little other message than "We didn't plan this."

It's very much like how people hire a contractor to tack a bay window onto a bungalow house or some other such building -- it does not fit visually! Why not just add Palladian windows or Greek Revival architecture to a pup tent! Same thing!

Consider this blog post my margins for ranting about this particular instance.

To complete the look of the Devils Lake sculpture grouping, all we need now are some Renaissance putti sitting on the shoulders of the soldier statues. Then we can call it a day.

My work here is done.

Labels: art, local, rant

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Answers that disgust me.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

::The "local" newspaper out of Devils Lake contains a section once a week where they pick a random person off the street and ask them the same questions. One of the responses below is a real one, from this past week.::

Q. What is a favorite activity that you like to do?
A. I like to kill kitties.

Q. Favorite color?
A. Paisley

Q. If you could invite to dinner any three people -- other than family -- living or dead, who would they be?
A. Jeff Gordon, Jimmy Johnson and Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

Labels: local, rant

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The treachery of the extended cab.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 4 comments link this post

This is the day of the Lake Region Roundup, an agricultural "conference" here in Devils Lake which is held mainly to give the farmers who are driving their wives crazy something to do in the winter.

The town is filled with pick-up trucks, 92.8 percent of which are extended cab. The streets are barely passable with these large vehicles jutting out into the driving lanes.

Many of these large vehicles are driven by elderly gents who don't really farm as much as they climb into tractors and combines out of refusal to retire, generally causing their middle-aged sons a great deal of stress. They are typically identified by hands that clutch high on the steering wheel while their eyes peer just a smidgen above the dash.

They also don't seem to require rules such as "look before backing out" and "a stop sign means to stop" and "one parking spot per vehicle."

I dread Lake Region Roundup day. There's barely enough vehicle insurance in the world to cover it. Not too mention the rarity of parking availablity near the store.

Labels: humor, local, north dakota

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The great winter ballet.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 4 comments link this post

Yesterday I found myself waiting in a Grand Forks hospital parking lot for over three hours, and I got to watch the opening sequence of The Great Winter Ballet.

A reality of heavy, thick snowfall is that, as long as you are at home, comfy in a chair, looking out the window and perhaps holding cocoa, it "blankets" the ground. For all others out in it, fighting it, dealing with a motorized vehicle that is not a snowmobile, it smothers. There is no lovely blanketing.

In between running the vehicle to keep warm and trying to keep the windshield wipers from freezing in place, I watched people return to their car and begin doing all kinds of contortions, both in body and face, to get their vehicles running and out of the parking lot.

Flailing, leaping, twisting, leaning, kicking, hopping, smacking mittened hands together...

There was the Pointy Knit Hat Girl and the Woefully Ill Prepared Man Without A Scraper and the Vain Woman With Inappropriate Winter Shoes -- they all performed magnificently. My part in this great ballet was that of the Too Short Woman With Frozen Windshield Wipers That She Can't Quite Reach Because The Suburban Is Too Tall.

I wrote a poem or two, memorializing these people, but most were badly rhymed and in no way acceptable for my current repertoire. It's hard to be successful with iambic pentameter when your mittens, socks, and pants are soaked.

The drive home from Grand Forks was not fun. I had to put up with Act II of this great winter ballet, which involved the Huge Roaring Semi Driving Much Too Fast For Conditions Trying To Pass Everyone And Creating A White-out From The Pillow Drifts. There was ice. Filled-in parts of the road that no car was going to get through. But, home it was.

Where, after mom and dad got out of the car, I found myself facing the unwieldy metal doors where the Suburban is parked, plus a yard full of knee-high (and higher) drifts. Pushing and pulling the doors, using both feet, hands, and a few minor expletives, everything was soon tucked away and the snow could resume blanketing.

Until this morning, when the final act commenced.

When I got stuck.

It was about -15 degrees.

Reverse, drive, reverse, drive, reverse, drive, shovel, dad, reverse, drive.

For all those people who believe four-wheel drive SUV-type vehicles are vanity and only a gas-wasting monstrosity, they are not. With the yard not cleared and the roads to the highway in not much better shape, without my Jeep, I'd still be at home, safe and warm in bed, and not at work on break, writing this.

Stupid Jeep.

Labels: local, my life, nature, work

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Going postal.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

A month ago I sent a portrait to a customer in California, paying extra for faster delivery and confirmation. It took nearly two weeks to arrive, which I later learned was due to my package missing a "security" stamp, it being passed back and forth between the Grand Forks and Devils Lake post offices (because an absolutely huge, flat package from a known person is surely a threat) before my local postmaster managed to get them to ship it on its way to California. I pay extra for service, and get none.

Recently, our local post office had its hours reduced again. Here is the letter I sent to the USPS regarding this:

Please respond to this email.

The post office in Hampden, ND recently had its hours cut again which has further reduced already patchy service to hours which make it impossible for me to utilize the post office because of work. Since this is a rural area that requires most people to drive long distances, the new starting and closing times will not allow us to patronize our local post office.

You may suggest that we use the post office in the town of our work. The Catch-22 here is that our post office is in constant threat of closure and the way we can prove it is necessary is by supporting it with our business. By making it impossible to do this, you have successfully started it on its path to closure even though this service is vital to everyone. It is particularly vital to me, who has an internet business on the side and uses the postal service to ship out packages. I would like to continue to use the USPS but these continual reductions and cuts are making it next to impossible to do anything but start looking to UPS or DHL.

Please do not give me the usual line "we're just looking to cut expenses" since, in this particular case of cutting the hours of service, it comes off as more than suspect. I am writing to my congressmen, and local newspapers. This is not a threat, but merely the only option you have left us up here in rural areas as you increase rates and decrease service.

Summation: The newly cut hours make it impossible to patronize our local post office if we have outside jobs, which only increases the demise of the local post office since revenue will also decrease. It also hurts the postal worker who mans the office by severely reducing her pay, which has an effect on such a small economy. These changes are without good reason, are suspect, and are completely unacceptable for what I pay and the service I get in return.

Here is the letter I sent to my congressman, Senators Conrad and Dorgan, and Representative Pomeroy:

Dear ____________,

I live near Hampden, ND, a very small town 40 miles north of Devils Lake. For nearly ten years, I have had a web site in which I've sold art and other items all over the world. Over the years, the United States Postal Service (USPS) has continually reduced service and increased prices. The rural nature of this area is not uncommon across North Dakota, and I have few other options for shipping my products.

Our small post office is always in danger of being closed because it does not bring in enough revenue. Consequently, the local community is very, very good about mailing all that they can from the local post office. We all often even purchase P.O. boxes and don't use them much, all to show the USPS that there are people using and needing the local post office.

Most recently, the hours have been cut in such a manner that it is now impossible for many of us who have other jobs in distant towns to mail anything before or after work. Essentially, we are forced to not patronize our local post office, thereby cutting the revenue, and thereby making it appear to the USPS that not only did they save a few bucks by reducing the hours, but they could save a few more by just closing the post office and making it like Webster, ND, which has boxes for delivery, but no other services.

This is unacceptable. Hampden is not situated in a way that makes it feasible for people like me -- and others, like the quilting business in town, which ships quilts all over the country -- to drive 15 or 30 miles to mail a package each day. The cost of gas alone prohibits this. I have attended the Marketplace for Entrepreneurs events for nearly eight years and I know how you promote small business in North Dakota. There is no small business in the internet age if there is no method for shipping out product. This problem with the postal service in North Dakota is rarely addressed at these kinds of business conferences, yet it is a kind of foundation. This is important!

I have attempted to contact and phone the USPS to voice my concerns, but have yet to hear from them. I have searched the web site and been able to find only some vague numbers to call which have led me no where. I seem to be unable to even have a voice in this matter, though I admit to being cynical enough to know their response: it's so expensive now, we're just trying to save money.

This isn't the city where there are many places to ship and mail. This is extremely vital to my business and the community, and these cuts are only the beginning, you can be sure. We all have no doubt that in a year or two, there will be further cuts in hours due to "lack of revenue" and that we will soon be nothing more than a few P.O. boxes and a blue postal drop, which does nothing for people relying upon the USPS to ship out product to the world.

Please, can you somehow address this issue? I have written to you in the past and received a letter that was filled with policy points and what President Bush has done wrong and how it affected whatever matter I wrote about, but that really had no effect on anything. I appreciate the time, but I'm not looking for that kind of political response in this matter.

I understand that ___________ likely won't read this email, or that an assistant will write the response. If nothing else, could you please provide me with names and contact information so that I can become an extreme annoyance for whoever thinks this is the way to solve the USPS budget issues?

You may contact me if you have further questions. This is a matter of concern for me.

Yesterday I received a letter from North Dakota Senator Kent Conrad's office in response to my rant about the USPS and what they are doing to small post offices in North Dakota:

Dear Julie:

Thank you for contacting me about the postal service in and around Hampden, North Dakota. I appreciate your bringing this matter to my attention.

I have written to United States Postal Service (USPS) on your behalf and asked for a review of your concerns. As soon as I have a response, I'll see that you are notified.

In the meantime, please let me know if I may offer further assistance on this or any other matter.

I also finally received an email from the USPS, which I have little faith in, but will continue to be a thorn in their side:

Dear JULIE NEIDLINGER,

Thank you for contacting us about the hours at your local postal facility.

I have documented your suggestion and forwarded it to the best person who can respond to it. If you need to contact me again regarding this issue, please refer to the following confirmation number, XXXXXXXXXX.

If I can be of assistance to you in the future, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Thank you for choosing the United States Postal Service®.

Regards

The USPS has a nice form email, don't they? I've already gone and started a UPS account online, and am looking into shipping through them via package pickup, which will really bump my shipping costs up, which makes me not happy. But, at least, they have service that you can track and not leave you and your customer wondering where on the planet and in what vacuous post office a painting is sitting, not delivered. I obviously need to consider alternative shipping methods. As you know, if you don't live in an urban area, you don't matter much when it comes to being efficient and cost-effective. Those are numbers games, after all, and the numbers aren't here.

(Sorry Jim. Nothing personal. I worked for the Postal Service for a few years, too.)

--------------------------------------

UPDATE, 12/15/2007: Though I have yet to hear anything from Rep. Pomeroy or Sen. Dorgan, I have received another letter from Sen. Conrad's office, with a copy of a letter he received from the USPS enclosed.

Conrad's letter:

12/10/2007

Dear Julie:

I received the enclosed update from the United States Posxtal Service as a result of my inquiry on your behalf regarding your concern for the postal service in and around Hampden, North Dakota.

As you can see, the correspondence from the District Manager states, "My staff is investigating the issue and a response will be sent to you as soon as possible." I will let you know as soon as I receive a reply.

In the meantime, please contact me if I may offer further assistance on this matter.

Enclosed USPS letter in Conrad letter:

12/6/2007

Dear Senator Conrad:

I recieved your correspondence dated November 29, 2007, on behalf of Ms. Julie Neidlinger, Hampden, North Dakota, concerning the services at the Hampden Post Office. I appreciate your bringing this matter to my attention. My staff is investigating the issue and a response will be sent to you as soon as possible.

Please do not hesitate to contact me in the interim if you have any additional concerns.

USPS letter mailed directly to me:

12/12/2007

Dear Ms. Neidlinger:

As the postal manager responsible for post offices in your area, I apologize for taking so long to respond to the concerns you expressed in an email on November 26, 2007.

As you may be aware, the hours of the Hampden Post Office were reduced after a periodic review of the services and workload. Please be assured that this was implemented after a thorough operational review which included the mail arrival time, the revenue, the number of customers served, and the dispatch time. We found the mail arrives an hour and a half after the office opened in the morning, and the evaluated workload in the office on an average weekday is only about 2 and a half hours. On Saturdays, only a little more than an hour is needed to provide services to the current 55 PO Box customers and 18 route customers.

In order to continue to provide effective and efficient service of value, we need to consider hours of service that allow us to more effectively use our resources. An alternative resource available today is using our services through the internet at www.usps.com, which may be helpful to you. This allows our rural delivery carriers to provide a "Post Office on Wheels" level of service and can eliminate or reduce trips to the Post Office.

Rural delivery is particularly beneficial to senior citizens, people with disabilities, and working people because no one has to pick up the mail from the post office. You will have 24-hour access to your mail. In addition, the rural carrier can provide all the retail services provided at the Hampden Post Office. Most transactions do not require meeting a carrier at the mailbox. Stamps By Mail Order envelopes and Money Order Application forms are available for your convenience; or you may place a note in the mailbox, with payment, and the carrier will provide the requested services. You may also buy stamps and pay for postage on packages by using the internet at www.usps.com. When an accountable item requiring a signature, such as a certified letter, cannot be delivered on the first day, the carrier will return the item to the Hampden Post Office. You may pick up the article at the Hampden Post Office, request redelivery on another day convenient to you, or authorize the carrier to deliver the item to another person or address.

The reduction in hours was determined with the mutual agreement of the current Officer in Charge at the Hampden Post Office. When she is not available, we are required to pay mileage to another trained Postmaster Replacement to serve the office. This is acceptable for limited times and exceptional circumstances, but not an any expense.

I hope this addresses some of your concerns and provides some understanding of the reasons behind the change in hours. We do appreciate your business and hope you will find a new and acceptable way to continue that business with us. Please let me know if you have any questions about our alternate means of access through the internet or your carrier.

I also received a letter from the USPS, with an attached sheet on how to utilized postal services via the internet or mail (which is ironic, if you truly think about it).

I responded as follows:

Thank you for your letter. I received it today.

You recommend utilizing a carrier for services that I am unable to access because of the altered Post Office hours. I want to point out that many of us who have P.O. boxes do not do so on a whim, but because the carrier service up here is also severely reduced so that the carrier actually doesn't come near our house. Our mail box would be miles down the road, on the highway, meaning that it is not only unrealistic to expect me to mail out art and other products by propping them out along a highway unprotected, but that it is also another area in which the Postal Service has neglected the rural areas. If this is the Postal Services answer to reduced hours at the local post office, I would like you to consider addressing the carrier issue so that I can utilize a carrier in the way you suggest. As it is now, this is not an option.

I will continue to contact my Congressman until I have some sort of resolution, though I suspect -- as I expected in your letter -- that the continued answer will be a polite "sorry, but we can't help you because we don't deem the rural areas as helping our bottom line." I will also continue to follow this issue on my blog, so that others can see what is happening to rural areas in regards to the continuing depletion of postal service in an age of ever-increasing postal fees.

This is incredibly disappointing. No doubt the local Postmaster agreed to the new hours, since there was likely no other option, save her losing her job or a fear of the Postal Service finding an excuse to close the office in its entirety.

Please respond regarding your suggestions as to how I should use a carrier who doesn't come anywhere near our farm.

Thank you for your time.

You will note that number of customers served and revenue -- as I predicted -- were used to account for these "periodic" and "thorough" adjustments. Never mind that these adjustments -- AS I HAVE ALREADY POINTED OUT -- will continue to reduce those numbers and no doubt cause further "adjustments" in the future after a "thorough" review. There would no doubt be an increase in route customers if there were much of a route that was offered. Since our mailbox is almost as good as going to town, there really is no reduction in any "trip to the post office" utilizing what passes as a "carrier service" out here. It is entirely unfeasible for me to put a big ole' boxed painting or other art item out on the busy highway miles down the road where the carrier route is to have it blown away, driven over, stolen, or shot up. Because really, I'd like to see a handicapped guy hop in his wheelchair and wheel a couple of miles down the gravel road -- in winter, for extra fun! -- to his "convenient" 24-hour mail box with it's fabled excellent "carrier" "service."

There is also more happening at a post office than merely the arrival and dispersal of mail, apparently a weighted factor on determining when it was necessary to open and close the post office. The arrival and dispersal of mail was never the issue, and since I can get my PO mail any time already, the "24-hour service" provided by a carrier is a moot point. It is the matter of sending, which has nothing to do with when the mail arrives but rather when the post office is open and manned by a human being, which is the problem that I noted in my earlier queries.

I am a little more than incredulous that it was suggested to me that I might find the internet resources helpful, as if I hadn't already considered those options seeing as how part of my correspondence clearly indicated I was selling on the internet and therefore, it could be assumed, familiarity with what is available to help my business on the internet is already part of my knowledge base prior to launching my emails and letters of complaint.

In other words, this letter was a non-answer. As I expected. As of now, I'm leaving off the names of the people sending the letters, but when (not if, but when) I get really irritated at the inevitable non-resolution, I think I'll offer them up to the Google gods like I did with Dell and Blue Cross Blue Shield.

As I see it, the following responses are the only ones I will find acceptable:

We will keep the post office hours as is, but expand carrier service so that people who must now rely upon carrier pick-up, etc. can actually do that.
We will return to the longer post office hours and keep the "carrier service" as scant as it already is.
We will admit that rural areas are going to keep getting the shaft and eventually have next to nothing for postal service, all in the name of "efficient use of resources" which is code for "we manage our system so badly and overpay on a hierarchy system that we are considering dropping the word 'service' from our name." All this has the exciting potential for reversing the historic Rural Free Delivery (RFD) service of the late 1800's and returning the people in rural areas into a vacuum of postal nothingness. Welcome to the new, modern age! It'll be pre-nineteenth century!!!!

I emailed Sen. Conrad's office:

I have received two letters from you, and a subsequent one from the USPS, over the local postal service. I thank you for your reply.

As I noted, I did receive a letter from the USPS -- from a representative of the USPS in Grand Forks -- in response to my concerns over the cut in postal service hours.

She recommended people like me utilize carrier services. Unfortunately, the Postal Service has long seen fit to be efficient in this area much earlier, and our carrier "service" would be delivery to a mailbox miles down the road on a busy highway. This is entirely ridiculous, to think that I'm going to be dropping off my internet art orders in the ditch along a busy highway a few miles from my house and assume they are not going to blow away, end up on the highway, get taken, rained on, buried in snow, or burned during the fall when the farmers burn everything.

The letter I received, though polite, was full of nothing. No answer, no addressing the real issues, no promise or indication of trying to meet the needs of the customer. This is the United States Postal Service -- government, in a sense -- that isn't terribly interested in doing anything but highlighting the bottom line. There is no service in the bottom line, though that word is part of their name.

I have a blog and web site which gets fair readership -- one of the older blogs in the state of North Dakota. I have put all correspondence regarding this matter on it, and I would appreciate it if you could review the response I received from the USPS representative, and my response back.

Here is the link: http://www.loneprairie.net/lp_blog/2007/12/going-postal.html

I noted the carrier issue and that, if that was indeed the only solution the USPS would offer, they would need to then expand carrier service. Please contact them again on this issue on my behalf. Their answer is expected, I admit, but still leaves people like me, who are trying to run an internet business out of rural locations in North Dakota, with ever-lessening options.

Please respond back to me regarding this matter.

Thank you for your time.

I am sending helpful "reminder" emails to Rep. Pomeroy and Sen. Dorgan, busy politicians, no doubt, until I get some kind of answer.

UPDATE, 12/21/2007: I have received a letter from Senator Conrad, which contained a letter from Clem Felchle, USPS Dakotas District Manager as well as a copy of the earlier letter I received from Ms. Hauge.

Letter from Conrad:

Dear Julie:

I received the enclosed response from the United States Postal Service (USPS) District Manager in answer to my inquiry on your behalf about your concerns for the recent change in postal service hours at your local post office.

In its letter, USPS lets me know that you contact Ms. Gloria Hauge, the Manager of Post Office Operations for the Hampden Post Office, about your concerns. Thus, the USPS District Manager also provided a copy of Ms. Hauge's response to you, which I have also enclosed. I understand that Ms. Hauge let you know about alternate or additional services USPS provides that you may find useful for your shipping needs, such as its rural carrier service and tis website, www.usps.com. USPS explains that if you use services on its website, "The monies spent by customers within their ZIP Code is allocated back to their local Post Office." Regarding your concerns about your local post office being in danger of closing, USPS states, "We have no current plans to close this Post Office."

I hope this information addresses your concerns Julie. Please contact me again if I can offer further assistance on this or any other matter.

Letter from Felchle:

Dear Senator Conrad,

This is in response to your November 29 inquiry regarding Ms. Julie Neidlinger, and her concerns about the recent change in postal service hours at the Hampden, ND Post Office. The Manager of Post Office Operations for the Hampden Post Office, Ms. Gloria Hauge, had also received an inquiry from Ms. Neidlinger, and was in the process of corresponding to her to try an d explain the reason for the implemented change. I have included a copy of that correspondence for your files that Ms. Hauge sent to Ms. Neidlinger.

Changes made to post office service hours have nothing to do with the performance of the post master or officer-in-charge. Rather, it is an indication of changes within the community that creates a lesser need for postal services in that area. The goal of the Postal Service is to continue to serve our customers while maintaining efficiency and cost effectiveness. This is quite frankly, a fine balancing act. One way to ensure we meet this goal is to internally review our operational procedures. If there is another effective and economical means of serving the area, while ensuring that service of value is continued in the community, we will implement that operational change.

In the case of Hampden ND, Ms. Hauge explains in her letter the reason for the service hour change. Ms. Neidlinger voices a concern that the Hampden Post Office will close, and although I can't offer a guarantee that this will never happen, we have no current plans to close this Post Office. As information, we are restricted from closing any Post Office unless specific criteria has first been met. Examples of that criteria would be having a natural disaster occur, like fire or flood, loss of building site, or a safety issue, such as environmental issues outside of our control that would challenge the safety of our employees or customers.

Ms. Hauge offered suggestions for alternate or additional services to Ms. Neidlinger including rural carrier service and our website, www.usps.com. Carrier service may not be an option for Ms. Neidlinger, but as a business woman, she is probably very familiar with the internet. Our website is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and provides services to all customers at their convenience. While using the website to purchase stamps or postage for packages from Click-N-Ship, the monies spent by customers within their ZIP Code is allocated back to the their local Post Office. So in other words, the customer may not be physically visiting their local post office, but they are still using and supporting their post office via online purchases for their personal and business needs.

As with any business, the Postal Service needs to continue to do business in the most cost effective and efficient manner possible. As we continue to move forward into the future, we will continue to review all facilities and operations to ensure we operate as efficiently and economically as possible.

Thank you for your interest in this matter. I hope this helps to clarify the situation, and if I can be of further assistance in this or other postal matters, please do not hesitate to contact me.

I want to first state that I never, in anything I've said, suggested that I had any problems with the "performance of the postmaster" so I don't know why that was even mentioned in Felchle's letter. It seems to me my original point of concern was simple, but in all this correspondence, other red herrings are used as a round-about way of never answering directly.

The insistence that the USPS is a business entity with a main focus on efficiency and economy sounds fine, except for one thing: it is the United States Postal Service. It's not FedEx, or UPS. It's not DHL or Coca-Cola. Sure, the USPS has a bottom line to watch, but it should not be their main focus i.e. there are considerations further up the hierarchy that they should be using when making service decisions that a purely private company does not have to consider. They are somewhat connected to the government of the land are are to be more than just another private shipping company watching the bottom line. They have more to meet, in other words, than mere capitalistic efficiency and cost-effectiveness. They must find a way to provide a service for the entire nation. They are not exactly like the private shipping carriers.

You can read my response to Senator Conrad here.

Sometimes I find myself annoyed by such correspondence as I've received so far. I understand an effort by all parties to be polite (well, except for myself) and the need to assume a lowest-common-denominator in that constituents probably write in with a lot of bizarre complaints or ill-researched requests, but I am not some uneducated idiot. I know very well where the USPS web site is and don't need it constantly parroted back to me. I know how to use it, the services available, and so on. As if I would bother writing a letter (or two, or three) without a little background knowledge. I don't want paragraphs of repetition or pleasantries or multiple copies of the same letter. I want a bloody answer -- direct, blunt -- and I want the specific issues seriously addressed. Written pablum will not work.

UPDATE 5,697,327: I received a phone call from the staff at Conrad's office informing me of his concern for such rural issues as this. It was a nice phone call; very polite. I was also told I could request a route extension by calling my head post office.

"Did you know you could request a route extension?" the woman on the phone told me. I did not know that. I'd never heard of such a thing. "It hasn't been done for ten years," she went on to say.

A route extension would have a carrier come by and pick up packages even if I wasn't on a carrier route, all free of charge.

"You can call and schedule for the carrier to come. This would be around 11 a.m.," the Conrad staffer finished.

It sounds great. On the days when I am at work, I could still get my packages mailed locally. Of course, on such days, at 11 a.m., I am...at work.

Hooray!

I should be happy, I guess. It's all come full circle. And really, is there anything as nice when a problem and its solution brings you right back to where you started?

Labels: local, rant

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Big bucks.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this post

"You've had some excellent posts of late," he said in an email.

"That's what I get paid the big bucks for, Will, the big bucks," I replied. "I actually have a post in draft form about a big buck. No kidding."

There is a big buck, though not in my bank account.
He probably won't last the hunting season.
Some hunters from Devils Lake caught sight of him and asked about our land.
"I'm sorry, it's posted" was our reply.
Someone else has permission, essentially, to kill this buck.
He's not that big.
But he does have antlers on his head.
Six points on each side at least, I counted one night, as he stood silently at the end of our driveway.
Safe in the boundaries of the yard, and in the cloak of dark night.
He stood there. In my headlights.
So I counted the points on his antlers.
"It's too bad," I thought again, "That we couldn't put fake antlers on the does just long enough to get the hunters to shoot."
But no. The population will continue to explode until the female deer sprout a large rack.
(And not that kind.)
So the deer huddle up in our yard, at night, venturing out.
And the buck slips in and out of the trees, a ghost, because of his antlers.

Labels: friends, local, my life, north dakota

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Crack grass does not bring me hope.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 8 comments link this post

I'm almost at the point where I've decided to become a proponent of global cooling, just because I'm so tired of hearing about global warming.

To be a global warming prophet -- for surely it is a religion -- you have to have the following qualifications:

Harpy.
Annoying.
Mobius strip argumentation skills.¹
Books with colorful illustrations and satellite maps showing Florida partly underwater and Lake Chad completely dry.
The director's cut version of Waterworld.
Delusions of pretentious patronizing grandeur.

For the love of all that is good an holy, just shut up. You know what? I don't care. I don't. And, in a local newspaper column written by (what else) a local person, I have the reason why I don't care: an article that starts off listing all the books no one reads but keeps on their shelf to impress guests, a device used as a segue into talking about Alan Weisman's The World Without Us, which then segues into the meat of the column, which is envisioning the world without us and how global warming will bring this about.

Let's have a look.

"We humans forget that according to the Bible we were created on the sixth day. According to paleontologists, Homo sapiens have only been around for about 200,000 years and the earth has been circling the sun for more than 4.5 billion years. In other words, biblically and scientifically, we are a relatively new species."

What, exactly, is the expert opinion here? The Bible? Paleontologists?

The following paragraphs detail how fragile we humans are, how we are part of the environment and not master of it, and how nature is quick to rebound after our polluting folly which, apparently, is all we have done to the world. It's tricky, this column. Concepts I don't agree with are supported by true statements which, by some sort of straw man befuddlement, makes the reader decide that since the true statements are associated with the concept, the concept must also be true.

"We are affected by other creatures and dependent on them. Did you know that without the bacteria in our intestines we would starve to death? [...] If we see environment abuse as abuse of ourselves or our children, we might be motivated to be more careful."

The irritating thing is that I support a lot of "environmental" issues, yet this column completely turned me off . At what point can we stop seeing humans as fungus covering the planet? As just another hair bristling out of a pimple on Gaia's back? As the environmentally important equivalent of a piece of grass sticking out of an evil concrete sidewalk?

Which, by the way, brings me to the closer and the point where I really got angry:

"The idea that the earth will continue on whitout us is, in another way, a hopeful one. It is amazing how plants will grow in any little crack in the sidewalk or trees will sprout up through the center of an unused building in just a matter of a few years. The earth has powerful regenerative powers. Nature can undo man's centuries of work in a much shorter span of time. Realizing that we are not essential to the rest of the world is not a reason for despair. It is a reason for hope."

If the earth has powerful regenerative powers, yet the earth is in danger, and we humans are so fragile and at the mercy of nature, why in the heck doesn't the earth do its thing and start restoring? Unless, of course, humans are more than just another cog in the wheel with Joe Dolphin and Jane Bacteria. Could it be that humans might just be a little higher on some ladder after all? That we can squirt RoundUp on that grass in the sidewalk and fry it?

I'm not terribly interested in any cause that tells me the earth is powerful and humans are fragile only to turn around and say we're destroying everything. Pick one.

And this non-essential crap. How can we be part of the environment and now be non-essential? Are there other parts of the environment that are non-essential? If so, we ought to set up a logging camp or gas refinery there. I don't find the revelation that I'm non-essential and prime for mass extinction much reason for hope. If you find that a hopeful place of being, you are far more depressed and out of touch with humanity that you might realize.

"The earth will continue to live with or without us. It is up to us to learn to find new ways to live respectfully in our changing world."

I have a few Bible verses that might dispute the idea that humans are mere after-thoughts and unnecessary. Normally I wouldn't throw the Bible into this discussion, but, since it and paleontologists were already mentioned by the author earlier in the column as some sort of foundational point, I find it acceptable. The suggestion is, of course, that the rest of creation was as important -- or more, since it doesn't need us -- than humans. I should think that Jesus, the cross, and the lack of of apes, mushrooms and mountain lions having their souls saved on the way to Glory Land would say otherwise. I grant you that the rocks may cry out. You have me on that one.

If I want to tickle my mind with possible futures where humans are the rarity, I'll pick up a copy of any number of books by Phillip K. Dick, Asimov, Bradbury, and any other science fiction writers who do a heck of a lot more for science than the actual science writers, who merely come off as bad fiction.

Obviously, I was annoyed by this column. You should see me on Thursdays.

-----------------------------
¹ Thank you, Keith. You refreshed my memory and allowed for a fine metaphor.

Labels: current events, local

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Snowless blizzard.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 4 comments link this post

I spent today at an arts/community development meeting in Langdon, leaving me with a lot of thoughts, information, and ideas to process. As I was driving home this evening, heading west into the setting sun, I felt like my mind might revolt.

It was then that I noticed what looked like snow billowing across the road and slicing through the sky.

Shiny, flashing particles filled the air, blown north by the strong wind. Cattail fluff. Everywhere. The sun was intense, making everything -- furrows, grass, buildings -- shine on the south side and the cattail fluff glitter as it whipped through the air. Everything gleamed, edges sharpened by that unnameable autumn phenomenon that rests somewhere between brittle and waning.

I'll write more about the meeting in the coming days as I sort through my notes and thoughts.

For now, snowless blizzard.

That, I can process.

Labels: local, nature, north dakota

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Enchanted cabinet.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

On my way to work this morning, I noticed a small, hand-painted sign stuck in the ground alongside the highway. It read:

LOST. Cabinet with baby clothes.
(Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur)

There were some other words after that, but the general population has yet to learn that signs along roads where cars are traveling fast must have few words and readable writing, and could also benefit from better brush-work. I couldn't make it all out. I had to slow down to about 40 mph as it was, just to read what I did.

I'm not used to seeing signs advertising furniture that has escaped, and that the random driver along a highway might be helpful in finding.

I continued driving, but enjoyed the realization that evidently the enchanted furnishings from Disney's Beauty and the Beast had escaped their celluloid prison. I pictured the little cabinet, free at last, onesies and jumpers flying out of drawers, as it jogged down the highway.

Run, cabinet. Be free.

Labels: local, movies

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Candy season.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

Candy season is almost upon us.

From October through April, seasonal candy delights await. Oh sure, candy is available all year 'round. But our postmaster puts out a bowl of candy according to the holiday -- Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's, Easter -- and that candy is...free.

Caramel! Little Butterfingers! Easter eggs! Chocolate hearts! Little things that bring a happy moment to the day!

I keep finding excuses to mail letters just to keep tabs on the candy bowl.

It's not there yet.

But soon, she promises.

Labels: food, local, my life

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Crazy Days suck.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this post

Tomorrow I shall commence working, starting at 7:30 a.m., for the big Crazy Days shopping spectacular in Devils Lake, which is a day which celebrates insanity by causing all those who work during it to go insane.

Crazy Days is a day of Low, Low Prices! and Bargains Galore! and Shop 'til You Drop! but mainly, it's:

strange old ladies who bring T-shirts up to the counter marked $1, wondering if we'd be willing to mark down the price, thinking it's a banana-republic market where haggling is expected
standing out in the blazing hot sun on concrete and asphalt, sweating, making sure no one five-finger discounts the discounts available
watching little sticky-fingered kids touch stuff that should have sticky fingers on them, dripping ice-cream and sno-cones and whatever else they have on their fingers all over everything
trying to trick your co-workers into manning the outdoor tent and tables while you someone meander about inside, in the air conditioned store
another bad idea by the Chamber of Commerce, made bad by always putting it during the hottest time of the year, because some numbskulls think that hot summer days are perfect for being outside and shopping
watching people muck up the tables of T-shirts and piles other sale-priced items, waiting for them to finish looking so that you can go out and refold and re-hang everything just in time for the next bunch of animals

And they are animals, these supposed "shoppers."

Animals. Under the hot sun. Looking for low-priced stuff. Because we need more stuff.

I'm so bitter about Crazy Days.

Labels: local, my life

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Gas is a more expensive drink than ever.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

The local TV news crew must have struggled to find a story today. For the 6 o'clock news, they had a reporter doing a LIVE! report in front of the milk cooler at a Hugo's grocery store in Grand Forks.

"Wow! He's live, in front of the milk cooler!" I said sarcastically to dad, who was watching the news.

"Better than if he were dead, I guess," he replied.

The reporter then went on to interview the manager of the store who admitted prices were higher. Then he showed a pre-taped interview with a random customer who had just put some milk in his grocery cart, and said he didn't notice the price increase and basically didn't care. Then the manager came back on camera, and said that the reason Grand Forks prices were lower than in Minneapolis was because local competition, such as the super WalMart, kept the prices down in the relatively small city. Then there was some talk about how higher gas prices were the reason for increased milk prices. Then it was reiterated that the reason Grand Forks prices weren't as high as other places was competition.

Which tells me that prices don't have to be high and that there's a lot of "gas price" blame that goes on for a lot of things.

"When gas prices go up, it costs the farmer more to raise crops, and so food prices are affected," the manager said.

"Bah!" dad said. "How come the prices don't drop suddenly when crop prices are low?"

Then the news reporter began the summation of his LIVE! report by saying, as he reached LIVE! into a cooler for a gallon of milk, that consumers would be paying more for their gallon of gas. A true statement, if not an odd one, in the context of reaching for dairy products in a grocery store.

He stumbled, then restated, making sure we would drink milk, not gas.

Too bad it was LIVE! or it could have been edited.

I sometimes think the local news crew abuses their LIVE! capabilities when the news is slow, and that they use the satellite trucks and link-ups in situations they ought not. I fully expect, in the near future, a LIVE! report from the TV station restroom, a place where, I imagine, there could also be a gas blame-game tie-in.

Labels: family, humor, local, television

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A friendly Post Office ghost.

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I caricature myself out of envy.

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Numbers 32:23.

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Devils Lake's own she-wolf.

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Answers that disgust me.

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The treachery of the extended cab.

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The great winter ballet.

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Going postal.

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Big bucks.

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Crack grass does not bring me hope.

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Snowless blizzard.

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Enchanted cabinet.

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Candy season.

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Crazy Days suck.

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Gas is a more expensive drink than ever.