Julie R. Neidlinger: Lone Prairie Art Works

The bad advice provided by Dove chocolates.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this post

You'll find this hard to believe, but I realized I hadn't had chocolate candy for over three weeks.

(I'll pause while you get back on your chair.)

I suppose the chocolate neglect may be attributed to the "Incredible Shrinking Stomach Thanks To Nicaragua" and "I Have A Fridge and Access to Food!" epic adventure of the past few months that I've not really chronicled in great detail on this blog (for which I know you are thankful).

To remedy the situation, I bought some Dove chocolates. These had "vitamins" in them (as useful as vitamin-infused Diet Coke, I imagine). Dove is decent chocolate, for the price. Plus, Dove offers free advice in the wrapper.

Today I felt a little down and thought some advice would be nice.

Dove has clearly identified their core customer as women, based on some of the sayings I've found in Dove candy over the years. Very few hit on anything that would remotely appeal to a man. The advice given in this recent purchase was what I've come to expect when you use candy as a psychologist.

1. Laugh, laugh and then laugh some more. Maybe not the best advice if you work for a funeral home. And, if you're one of those women with a horse laugh, consider fulfilling this in private.

2. Forget the rules and play by your heart. That's actually some fairly lousy advice, though it sounds pretty good. Good enough for one of those round Oprah book club stickers, probably. I can think of several times in life that not playing by the rules will get you killed, arrested, or have your vehicle or recreational device impounded.

3. Break the mold, be extraordinary! The irony here is that most of us spend our lives trying to fit in and, essentially, be ordinary. Being extraordinary actually has a high price to pay in both social and emotional aspects. That, of course, is difficult to fit on a foil wrapper, so we'll have to accept the truncated version instead.

4. Forget the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey instead! Well, that may be, but I know of a road in Nicaragua, between Leon and Poneloya, that will have you running for the bathroom once you reach your destination. You can call that a "celebration" if you want, but you'll not be forgetting those potholes -- or the journey -- any time soon.

There are likely several other philosophical gems in the package of Dove chocolates that I have yet to discover, and I know that you want me to continue my research; I'll get to it, straight away.

No need to thank me. I'm only all too willing to make this sacrifice.

Labels: chocolate

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Chocolate, cubed.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

How was the recent wedding, at which I played the violin?

We'll just leave the violin out of it. Let me tell you about the cake: it was chocolate, upon chocolate, upon chocolate. It was the best wedding cake I've ever had -- one of the top cakes, really, wedding or not -- and I love cake.

Top cake, I'm telling you.

Lew also got me out on the dance floor to do the jitterbug. I got me no rhythm*, but Lew can sure shake a leg. Despite my cloddishness, it was fun.

"Lew," I said the next day, "you're going to have to teach me to dance."

That was good cake. I had it, and ate it, too.

*Yes, yes, purposeful bad grammar. Please don't use the comments section for grammar police activities.

Labels: chocolate, friends, my life

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There are no tips.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 7 comments link this post

As much as I searched, I could not find any helpful packing tips to cover packing for:

Three months away from home in a dorm-like setting.
Hurricane/rainy season in Central America (Nicaragua)
Weddings that I am a part of

There wasn't a lot of overlap in my mental diagram, in which I imagined each event as a circle. Except for a few instances in the "summery T-shirt and shoes" department, the circles remained a bit autonomous. The bug spray/sunblock combo isn't going overlap the items I'll need for the wedding events, for example.

So, as I stood in front of an ever-growing pile of stuff that I had to winnow down to a more manageable mountain, I faced the toughest packing of my life.

Oh my!

Usually, in January or February when it is time to go to Nicaragua, the packing and prep seems to take about a week and involves extreme heightened "what if/just in case" (i.e. "What if I need this multi-tool, just in case such-and-such a thing happens? I'd better pack it. And three extra shirts. Just in case."). It's such a huge flurry of nerves and excessive readiness as if I'm...heading to Central America...or something. But this time? This time...no. I had made lists of things I'd need for each event, and tried to figure out what stuff would fulfill it in the least amount of hassle. I really had to pare it down.*

I kind of liked the idea of packing without thinking "just in case" which ends up with too much stuff, and instead, went with the "well, if I don't have it I'll just have to do without." (The Theory of Enough, for the traveler.)

Packing and living out of a duffel bag is starting to become a normal thing. Between the constant packing for Pracs studies which involve staying in a community dorm room and bunking at my sister's house, to past forays into urban camping to save gas while working, I've got a kind of system worked out.

I won't tell you that system.

It would scare you.

Regardless, I've never had to pack for an entire summer for very different locations and events like this. Throw in a handful of tech help calls from my nephew, two rush orders that I had to complete today, and an uncooperative computer, and you have the picture of wild multi-tasking.

To make things go a bit smoother for me, I took Claritin** to combat the effects of extreme mowing yesterday (I did it just to give my parents a free week ahead on the mowing and complained about how dry it was only to have it rain today) and finally cracked open a box of chocolate lard my friend had given me months ago. I, essentially, medicated myself twice, for chocolate is a medication.

As it is, I've loaded up the Jeep with:

bedding
towels (my new towel included)
clothes for three months (crammed into one medium-small sized duffel, amazingly) with only two pairs of shoes! (that's amazing, it really is)
duffel full of donated and gift items to take to Nicaragua
carry-on suitcase I'll use when going to Nicaragua, holding my "Nicaragua" clothes (i.e. well worn, sturdy clothes that are capable of hiding the dirt), and NRN documents (I am the secretary, after all)
Bible, books, and a few notebooks for Bible study and just general journaling
some basic art pens and pencils, and paper for cartooning and drawing
a journal/sketchbook for the week in Nicaragua in which I plan on capturing the embarrassing agony of my fellow group members
my violin and guitar, and the music I need to practice for the weddings
small duffel full of toiletries because I have decided I am going to use up all those annoying half-bottles of lotion and soap and hair stuff and get rid of it once and for all!

A couple more things to finish tonight, and that's it.

* Kind of like I should have pared down this blog post.

** I rarely take any kind of medicine. I'm wary of the possible side-effects. I just couldn't deal with it today, however. Too much to get done.

Labels: chocolate, my life, summer 2008

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The joy of the garden.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

My "German sister" Sabine sent me a package, and tucked inside, along with other surprises, were three Ferrero Rocher candies. They weren't the regular ones, however, but were called "Garden", and were coconut, pistachio, and hazelnut flavors with white chocolate and a lovely decorative element on top.

Oh. My.

All. Gone.

Really. Really. Good.

Labels: chocolate, food, friends, product placement

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John was a trapper.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 9 comments link this post

My friend Naomi is in Chicago right now. She takes the train, and periodically visits her friends.

Someday, I want to go to Chicago on the train. I always go west. Chicago has, I've been told, some good pizza. I'm sure there is good pizza in the west, but I really want to try authentic Chicago pizza.

Where Naomi goes also has a store whose name I, without fail, get wrong at first effort.

"Naomi, if you get a chance when you're in Chicago, will you go to Trapper John's and get me some of those chocolate truffles?"

I mean Trader Joe's, of course.

Such a store as Trader Joe's must be incredibly put-out to be referred to as Trapper John's. Trading is better than trapping, I hear. Less blood and death.

John is the name of my brother-in-law, as well as a euphemism for "bathroom" or "toilet." He's a pretty good guy.

My cousin Patty took me to a Trader Joe's in Seattle, before taking me to the train for my two day journey on the Empire Builder back to Devils Lake and then home. That was the trip I ended up sitting behind a crazy guy who thought everyone was racist and took one of my bottles of water.

I don't know the name of these truffles, but Naomi knows.

She always knows.

The chocolate truffles in question are little more than delectable melt-in-your-mouth chocolate-saturated lard. Very good, and in no way healthy.

One truffle, I discovered, after having eaten four and become curious as to the nutrition content, had about the full day's worth of allowable fat, most of it saturated. Calories...

I try to limit myself to one truffle a day, now. They're pretty good. They have the word "French" in the title, if I remember correctly.

So...French truffles, then. Also, they only come out around Christmas. Perhaps there's some kind of Santa connection, who also only comes out at Christmas, if he actually existed.

"Hey," I said to my nephew Cody on the phone today, as he was telling me what he got for Christmas, which included golf clubs from Santa. "Who is 'Santa' anyway, your mom and dad?"

Cody is old enough to know there's no Santa. My other nephew, however, is not. "You're on speaker phone, auntie," Cody replied.

Oops.

"I got your truffles for you," Naomi informed me in an email yesterday.

I'd recommend them to you, if I knew the name.

Labels: chocolate, family, friends, travel

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Cocoa for when you're on the beach.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 14 comments link this post

Yes, you can drink cocoa on the beach. And here's another Julie recipe -- made-up on the fly with vague sense of measurement -- for your benefit:

Sugar-free Hot Chocolate

Put two heaping spoons of baking cocoa in a cup. Yes, baking cocoa. The raw stuff. Powdered.
Add one packet of Splenda. Two if you're a person who likes sweet cocoa.
Add hot water to about 3/4 full.
Add some skim or 1% milk.
For additional fun: Make your cocoa have a touch of mint without using flavored syrups (sugar, sugar, sugar) by simply making a cup of peppermint "tea" and adding it in the mix. Or, I actually poured in a little bit of MetroMint peppermint water. Yum. A little goes a long way.
For even more fun: Go with a bit of cinnamon instead of the mint. Tasty! Think of it as a tame version of Mexican hot chocolate.
Go wild: Add a wee bit of instant coffee granules and make it mocha.

Why baking cocoa? You can get sugar free chocolate milk and cocoa mixes, but they have a bunch of other stuff in them. The raw baking cocoa really makes it a dark, bittersweet cocoa (almost as good as Starbucks!). Add more Splenda if bittersweet isn't your thing.

Spenda's web site offers a different hot chocolate recipe, which calls for 8 packets of Spenda, 3 tablespoons of Dutch processed cocoa, and 2 cups reduced fat milk. This is a recipe you heat in a saucepan and serve immediately when everything is well mixed. For their version of a mocha drink, you are to add 2 teaspoons of instant coffee granules to the milk before heating it up and mixing it over the low heat.

I love hot chocolate. I have a box (newly purchased, talk about your bad timing, though I plan on enjoying it at Christmas) of Starbucks peppermint drinking chocolate... I even own a book dedicated to various hot chocolates. I now have to find a way to adjust the recipes while I'm on the Beach.

UPDATE: I now have a variety of sugar-free hot cocoa recipes, with a download, available. Go and get your free recipes!

Labels: chocolate, food

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When hot cocoa is prescribed.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

Today's weather, in no particular order, included clouds, thunder, lightning, hail, rain, cold, humidity, and fog.

Fog, mainly, is what there is now.

The clear prescription for such a day is hot chocolate. Luckily, on my recent vacation, I managed to find a can of Ghiradelli Premium Hot Cocoa: Double Chocolate.

I think this will suffice.

Labels: chocolate, food

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The currency of the treadmill.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

My friends at my little part-time job surprised me with about a ton of chocolate for my birthday.

I am exaggerating, but only slightly. As I surveyed the pile of chocolate, I realized as I stood there and looked at the horde that I was doing calculations. Somewhere at some point in time I'd started dealing in treadmill currency.

"Hmm. That's going to cost me about X minutes on the treadmill at X speed," I often catch myself thinking. Or, I keep a couple of stretchy toning bands on my desk and any time I watch TV, find myself doing some similar calculations as I work my wimpy arms for the duration of the program.

I don't think this is necessarily a good thing. I should probably exercise out of a love for it instead of because of some strange mathmatical formula I've invented.

On a recent television program on the TLC channel, health experts were listing 20 ways to lose weight. One was to keep a food diary because, these experts claimed, most people have no idea what they're eating in a day and have no concept of how many calories they're consuming.

Perhaps.

But people who deal in treadmill currency, like myself, can't agree to that assessment. I know precisely how many calories I've consumed and how many I'm going to have to burn off.

"Cut yourself a big slice of chocolate cake, Julie!" one of the ladies at work said to me. I did so, quite happily. I just knew I'd have to run it off later.

So today, just now, I just made a treadmill exchange. Six miles of running/walking, just under two hours. I'm now going to go and have the last piece of that birthday cake that I brought home from work because I already "paid" for it.

It's probably not a good thing, but I bet there are other people that do it.

Labels: chocolate, health

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Chocolate recommendations.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 6 comments link this post

The folks and I are heading to Fargo this weekend where we'll take in the Fargo Air Museum and the big Scheel's store and whatever else we can do on the cheap. No doubt we'll be visiting Barnes and Noble and eating at my favorite Fargo restaurant on Friday evening. However, the trip has now become a mission of mercy for my friend who lives out in the far, far reaches of western North Dakota.

She has no access to good chocolate.

"The local store has no interested chocolate. Or bread. Or cheese. And I still can't find non-aspartame yogurt," she told me in an email.

(Pausing for a moment, while I wipe the tears from my eyes.)

One stop in Fargo will definitely be the new, large Hornbachers on 45th, where I'll be purchasing some of these necessary items for my friend and sending them to her in the mail.

But speaking of chocolate....

Here are my best chocolate recommendations (so far), in order with my favorite on top:

Cadbury's milk chocolate (English)
Ritter sport milk chocolate (German)
Marabou milk chocolate (Swedish)
Dorina milk chocolate (Polish)
Milka Alpenmilch chocolate (German)
(UPDATE) Lindt (Swiss)
(UPDATE) Cote d'Or (Belgian)
(UPDATE) Hershey's Whole Bean Milk Chocolate (American)

As far as hot chocolate (both as a drink and the drink mix) goes, here's the list:

Starbuck's non-fat hot chocolate
Godiva hot chocolate drink mix
Archer Farms Mexican hot chocolate drink mix

I am sure I will be adding to this list as both my life and pant size progress. However, feel free to add your own recommendations in the comments section -- in fact, please do. I know there are other chocolate aficionados out there (Eric).

Think of your additional comments as "community service." Because it is a service, indeed.

Labels: chocolate, food, my life

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Let the listing and chatting and blogging resume.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 3 comments link this post

Finally, I am home and completely done with the drug study. I have my check in my grimy fist and will deposit it tomorrow.

For most of July, I spent my time in Grand Forks either at Pracs or at my sister's house. Considering how we have been under a killer heat wave and serious lack of rain, I can't complain. Here at home we have no air conditioning and it usually isn't a problem for 10 months out of the year. These are those other two months. Both Pracs and my sister have air conditioning. I also found that, for a mere $5.50, the movie theater will let me sit in air conditioned darkness, eat popcorn, and even show a film to entertain me, for over two hours. But now I am home and it's hot and I am again reminded how summer is my least favorite season, and autumn is my most favorite. Unless we're talking Vivaldi - then I would vote for "Winter."

Anyway.

This is one of those mundane posts of nothingness that I write on occasion since it is the way my mother evidently follows what I am doing with my life, and so that strangers or non-close acquaintances can start conversations with me on things I forget they know I've been doing because I've blogged it.

On my drive home today, a day which I have denoted as "Chocolate Monday" since I can now have caffeine after three weeks of no chocolate or Diet Coke, I began the irritating habit of listing.

Get home. Put groceries away. Wash clothes. Clean kitchen. Clean dining room. Clean bedroom. Answer email. Blog. Design blog template for K? Mail letter to Melanie. Go through my mail. Clear off my desk. Change cat litter. Start outlining and compiling the freelance magazine article which is due soon. Finish designing bookplate. Vacuum. Go for a run. Water flower gardens after supper. Cut back flowers going to seed. Dig up weeds. Spray Roundup on weeds in brick walk. Use broom and sweep cobwebs covered in cottonwood fluff off of front of house. Make a few bracelets. Clean out Tivo harddrive of shows I don't want. Start preparing for blogathon by making sets. Start sketch/collect photos for painting of farm for Sabine and Christian's wedding gift. Finish Os Guinness book. Read from Bible...

There was more but my head exploded and it took so long to collect the pieces that I don't want to do that again. I've basically been gone for three weeks, in a sense, and so I am a little behind. Still, I had a great time with my sister and her family. We went for a long bike ride, I took my niece to a movie, I forced my sister to watch the excellent Sci-Fi movie Serenity during which she had numerous nervous breakdowns - but now I'm back and I'm playing a little bit of catch-up.

I did see Molly yesterday. I had been going to my sister's church the past two weeks, but they were having an outdoor service and picnic and I just didn't feel in the picnic spirit at 100 degrees. And so, since gas is so cheap, I drove to Fargo to attend church with Molly and then the two of us went to my new favorite Fargo restaurant, Dolittle's, so I could have a slice of their excellent key lime pie while we talked about gluttony, life, and all things related between mouthfulls. I got to see a few people from the Nicaragua trips at Molly's church; my problem there is that I don't see myself as really close friends with them (beyond Molly, who was my roommate in Nicaragua last year and had a bout with sickness in which we bonded in a no-holds-barred way that only a stomach bug forces you to) so I don't go out of my way to say "Hi" because I think I am a pest and maybe they just don't want me to bother them. This ends up leaving me looking like a stuck-up or cold person, which I am not, really. I just don't want to impose myself on others, or I think perhaps they aren't interested in talking to me; I assume that if they want to talk to me, they'll come up and do so. It's probably not fair, this making people come to me, but it is the only way for my befuddled mind to be reassured that I'm not bothering someone. Plus, there are a lot of people crammed into Molly's church and I really like to have my back to a wall and not get caught up in the tide of people moving toward the door. This in itself, this weird and misplaced phobia of approaching people I know, is another blog post, and so I'll just leave it at that.

Pracs was a pretty good experience, though, like I mentioned before, I am evidently a difficult person to draw blood from. I had a couple of really painful, grinding draws in which it felt like the full weight of the phlebotomist was leaning into the needle and the needle was being pushed all the way up to my shoulder, but then I kind of stopped feeling it after that; either my nerves were damaged or I figured out a way to block it out. Still, there are at least two phlebotomists who, after two unsuccessful tries, won't draw from me. One was a very cute guy. That's a real tragedy for me. The thing I was most dreading did occur, unfortunately. During the morning, after we've taken the drug and have to sit at tables until dinner, we watch comedy movies on a large screen. The two movies of this genre that I hate the most and was hoping against hope wouldn't be selected, Groundhog Day and What About Bob?, were selected. Between the blood draws and the chocolate restrictions and the irritating Bill Murray movies and getting behind in my work, I don't care what anyone says: I earned my Pracs money in spades.

Well, that's that. This is why I have been silent for six days. Now I must get back to my lists and get to work.

To summarize all of this, I'll leave you with this: I can't wait for the movie Lady in the Water to come out, a story where the main character is the story, by M. Night Shyamalan no less.

Because that summary doesn't make any sense, I will leave you with another: I knew I had to blog on something after six days of silence, and since I haven't formulated my take on the Theory of Everything, I just threw this mish-mash of boring recent-personal history up online instead. Thanks for reading. Go see Lady in the Water.

::This blog post was brought to you by a sheer lack of interesting writing and purely chatty and non-sequential focus. If you've stuck around this far, you must be crazy.::

Labels: chocolate, friends, health, my life

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Chocolate always wins. That's why I like it.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

Thanks to Google Trends, you can see for yourself that chocolate is king. It handily beats out vanilla, asparagus and even beer (except in Philadelphia).

This comes as no surprise to me. And now I'm going to go make chocolate chip cookies because we are getting company today. It's nice to know I'm baking with a winner.

| tag: chocolate |

Labels: chocolate, food, internet

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It's been a great birthday.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

Today, I'm 32.

My sister sent me a rude but funny card. (You know I don't need tissues, Jacqui.)

My parents gave me the FotF Narnia Radio Theatre production collection with all the stories in the book series, among other things.

My friend Corrine gave me a copy of her latest book.

My blog readers have wished me a happy birthday.

Jim emailed me an Elvis Birthday Postcard.

The people at church were awesome.

At church, Tammy gave me six of her great chocolate brownies, and brought more for the rest of the Sunday School.

Mom made scones this morning, and brought them to church for the Sunday School, just for the occasion.

Jolene gave me a cute card.

Martha gave me a lovely gift, waiting for me on the piano when I arrived this morning to get the music ready for the service. She also had a little muffin with a birthday candle in it for both Isaiah and Tracee and me. Tracee's birthday is next week; Isaiah's is today.

Kim and Tracee gave me a cute card and a huge balloon bouquet, which was on the piano when I arrived, and stayed there all through service. Kim pointed out, before we started singing in the morning service, that, "Julie bought herself a balloon bouquet because you know Julie." Then everyone sang happy birthday to Isaiah and me and I accompanied which is strange except I always play the song for other people's birthday.

Just an hour ago, Bine, my German "sister", called from Kiel and we talked for a bit. Her birthday was three days ago. Her Christmas/Birthday package hasn't arrived yet but when it does I know what will be in there...delicious chocolate that can only be found in Germany; she knows my favorites.

And now I'm making a Bine and Julie birthday cake, by Bine's request, for my parents. It's in the oven right now.

Birthdays rock. Thanks, all you great people. Today was a blast.

Labels: chocolate, my life

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Product Placement: Lose weight eating organic foods.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 2 comments link this post

Before you go off on me because of the title, hear me out. Just sit down you conservative ankle-biters.

::Did I really just write that?::

I'm not vegetarian, and certainly not vegan. I like to eat meat and drink milk and have scrambled eggs on occasion. However, I've no qualms with people eating vegan (notice I did not say eating a vegan - Woody Harrelson is still safe).

At a recent trip to the health and natural foods store in Grand Forks, I discovered a new cookie that I hadn't seen there before.

::What is it about health food stores? There's always some kind of light jazz or Indian chanting music playing in the background. What, Chopin would defile the chemical-free aura? Would the sounds of Beethoven soil the 7th Generation toilet paper? And the store is always staffed with either a severly aged braless bun-wearing hippy throwback woman, a gay man, or a thin young woman with the look of perpetual "whaat?" about her face.

"Do you carry food-grade hydrogen peroxide?" I asked her.
"Whaaat?"
"Never mind."

I always feel guilty if I'm caught wearing, I don't know, mascara or a brightly dyed shirt or something equally artificial because I feel like I need to dress like the gay guy in all dull green and brown hemp clothing.

But you can't beat the food and products in the store.::

Being the chocolate maniac that I am, I do not check out to see if there are any new tofu products, new stevia options, or soy milk. Nor do I check out the new supplements. I head straight to the bakery section and see what's new in the cookie department.

You gotta have priorities. I figure I'm already in the health food store.

A nicely wrapped set of two "Cowboy Cookies" caught my eye during my most recent excursion. Made by Liz Lovely (don't even start in on the name), these delicious cookies screamed to be tried out. You don't know how unnerving it is to have cookies screaming at you.

::And I wouldn't visit the Liz Lovely website if you're prone to getting angry at naturalist vegan folk who wear John Lennon glasses who have a detailed social mission for a cookie web site. Trust me on this. Just don't go there. Don't click around and look at photos.::

Totally vegan, the cookies use fair trade ingredients. And Vermont well water.

::Vermont. No surprise there.::

They looked completely tasty, and were tied with an attractive raffia string.

My theory on how vegan and organic foods can help you lose weight is very simple. They cost more. These two cookies cost me $3.25 and so I did not go home and snarf them down thoughtlessly.

These were $3.25 cookies.

I broke off a bit and ate it. Maybe a few hours later, I tried another bit. This progressed over two days until the two cookies were finally gone. I'm telling you, these were some darn fine cookies. If I were prone to swearing, I'd say damn. Crunchy, nutty, yummy.

Had I bought a package of cheap E.L. Fudge cookies from a regular grocery store, I would've hogged them down in no time flat, barely tasting them as crumbs flew out of my mouth.

Thusly, vegan and organic foods help you lose weight because you can't afford a lot of it and so you eat less.

Genius.

Now go get some Lovely cookies.

Labels: chocolate, food, product placement

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The bad advice provided by Dove chocolates.

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Chocolate, cubed.

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There are no tips.

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The joy of the garden.

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John was a trapper.

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Cocoa for when you're on the beach.

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When hot cocoa is prescribed.

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The currency of the treadmill.

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Chocolate recommendations.

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Let the listing and chatting and blogging resume.

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Chocolate always wins. That's why I like it.

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It's been a great birthday.

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Product Placement: Lose weight eating organic foods.

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