Follow the leader.
written by Julie R. Neidlinger 9 comments link this postRegarding youth pastors (leaving out any in-depth discussion on my thoughts on the concept of "youth ministry", its validity, what it promotes, the self-feeding problems it creates by its very nature, and how some things can be tied to concepts of the idea of "youth culture" as found in this book), I have come to discover a very obvious truth:
Youth follow as they are led.So:
The louder and more obnoxious the youth leader, the louder and more obnoxious the youth group.
You may fill in the above adjectives using: boorish, simplistic, unthinking, thoughtful, considerate, devoted, surface, shallow, deep, right-hearted, contentious, divisive, etc.
You may also substitute "youth leader" for any kind of leader, such as: president, presidential candidate, teacher, pastor, etc.
You may add to the discussion the ideas of perpetual pizza parties; 36-year old men who still say "sweet" and "dude" while former youth have grown up, married, have kids, and make their old youth leaders look stupid; the strange necessity of male youth leaders to half shave heads or facial hair, or use Kool-Aid to dye their hair as a prize for ridiculous contests such as who can hand out the most tracts or memorize the most Bible verses; the weird things done with Jello; and, in general, the concept of pandering to the lowest common denominator when playing a numbers game.
Obviously, I've got my deep-thinking cap on today.
Because if I have to go to another youth event where the church kids run down the halls of the hotel screaming and throwing ice at 11:30 p.m., I am going to shove my head out the door and cuss a $!@#$&! blue streak -- church kids or not -- about their rotten behavior which is somehow written off as "that's how kids are" when it is, indeed, not how they should or can be.
Because, for some reason, I think 17 and 18-year old "kids" can grow up and behave better since historically they could have been working in coal mines, getting blown up in trenches, or be halfway through their total life expectancy.
Labels: politics, rant, religion
Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger 4/30/2008 08:48:00 PM
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9 Comments:
I really wish you would be more open in expressing yourself. Just say what you mean. That's all. We can handle the truth.
By 
Will, at
30/4/08 21:07
You're right.
I shouldn't have used " $!@#$&! " and, instead, should have gone for the real thing.
By Julie R. Neidlinger, at
30/4/08 21:13
Why is this labeled "politics"?
Did I miss a slam on Hillary/Obama/McCain here?
(back to the boycott)
By David Cho, at
30/4/08 23:14
I used to work in youth ministry. I agree with the assessment.
What bothers me is that 25 years ago it wasn't this way. That's when I first started the youth ministry thing as a volunteer leader. I remember chaperoning our youth group to a conference, and all the kids acted fine. No stupidity, no misplaced "crazy for Jesus" pranks. Somehow, everyone still had a good time and came back spiritually refreshed.
It can be like that again. But getting that genie back in the bottle is easier said than done.
By dle, at
30/4/08 23:34
There is a subtle reference to politics when I mention the following terms:
1. president
2. presidential candidate
Oh, I wield a sharp verbal sword.
By Julie R. Neidlinger, at
30/4/08 23:35
Julie --
I think what you are observing is the logical development of how parents have been raising their children over the last two generations. There is no desire to impose any rules, discipline, or expectations that might mean having your child angry with you or, God forbid, stop being your friend. So children grow up not having the slightest idea of how to behave in a variety of social settings.
I am amazed at how so many of my students interact with me and my colleagues in such a familial way. Their approach to us is no different than how they deal with their peers. They don't give a second thought to what they say or how they say it. I suppose, given that so many parents encourage the active participation of their children in the family affairs, giving them carte blanche from the earliest age, without instructing on proper etiquette, this should not be a surprise.
What do you do when the individuals running down the hall screaming and throwing ice aren't church kids, but the so-called adults? Because to some degree the behavior the teens exhibit is simply mimicking the behavior of the adults in their lives. How can a 17 or 18 year old grow up when their mom and dad haven't?
If I am sounding like my parents, perhaps they knew something we are coming to better understand. A society that abandons its standards will devolve to the lowest common denominator. I suppose you can blame my generation, the baby boomers who never wanted to grow old. Unfortunately, too many equated that with never growing up.
Rey
By Rey, at
1/5/08 07:35
Thank you Julie, for starting this candid discussion. I have been having ALL the same feelings. Youth ministry should NOT be akin to Disneyland...it should be more like a boot camp... in my rigid opinion.
Rey, I particularly enjoyed your comment...bravo.
By Andrea, at
1/5/08 11:10
Speaking as one who, in many ways, never grew up (just ask Mrs. Me), The fact that I behaved reasonably well at church events -- though yet unsaved -- proves that anyone can.
Too little is expected of everyone these days. In a society in which adults wear sweats in public, what standards can be expected?
By ThirstyDavid, at
1/5/08 12:21
I currently work in youth ministry...
And while I understand that the hipster youth leader and the out of control kids exist I don't think it really has to be that way...
We took 15 youth on a weeklong ski trip to New Mexico... My wife and I chaperoned the "girls" house and I only felt compelled to lay down the law on one ocasion...
True, kids will be kids but that's not to say they have to be loud, disrespectful or obnoxious while they're about it...
PS... Julie, I'd really like to read your thoughts about the concept of "youth misitry" and it's validity...
By David, at
1/5/08 12:43
