Julie R. Neidlinger: Lone Prairie Blog

Dating out of fear of ending up with no teeth.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 4 comments link this post

Nothing sells like desperation and fear. And nothing moves a dating service into high gear like using a photo of a very old woman (man?) from...India? ...missing a considerable amount of teeth.

This is an ad I saw on Facebook today.

"Hurry! You become old and alone much faster than you think."

Yes, because the time/space continuum speeds up when you're not married.

Apparently, being over 30 and single means you're on track to toothless joy in a third-world country. 29? You're safe. Over 30? You look like Keith Richards via Bombay.

Usually, such ads feature hot, sexy, airbrushed people, but someone is trying a new concept: blatant fear. Or something.

I don't know.

It might work.

Labels: facebook, humor, internet, relationships

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4 Comments:

I can attest to the fact that the time/space continuum does, indeed, speed up during singleness over the age of 30.

A little over a year ago, at the age of 36 and with the status of "Single, Almost Toothless and Living In A Box" on Myspace, I was barely hanging on to my last remaining tooth as all my others had turned to dust during my 30th birthday party (talk about inconvenient-the cake had to be pureed). Through the miracle of a friend, the Internet, and Photoshop (my eyes were barely visible from all of the wrinkles but a nice little facelift has since taken care of that problem), I met and eventually married a younger man. Once he met the real me, he loved me despite my lack of enamel and despite my excessive skin folds but I fear for others who must face a cold, hard world alone.

Julie, IT’S OK TO LOOK!!!

This message was brought to you by match.com.

By Anna, at 22/4/08 21:41