Giving as receiving.
written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this postI've been emailing a friend about giving. He was apologizing for asking for help. I told him something that I hadn't actually understood until I wrote it, which is something that happens often.
One thing I learned about giving is that it is hard to receive. In the past 10 years, in regards to things financially, my "career" (jobs, etc.) life has been a bit of a joke, and I have discovered that God has caused me to become humble and understand better how I rely on Him in that I have many times had to ask people for help or accept help. Financial help is always difficult for me to accept, and I feel very embarrassed about it.
The other side is that by letting me help you, you are allowing me the gift of giving. I have a good, safe, healthy life, and so often I feel like I am on the receiving end from so many (God, family, etc.) -- it is good and necessary for me to understand both sides of giving. I want to thank YOU for, even if you feel embarrassed, letting me have the opportunity to help. I often pray to God to help me out financially, but I always feel that part of that is that I show Him I can give and be obedient in helping others. By letting me do that with you, you are part of the answer to my prayers and to what God is doing in both my life and yours.
It is very similar to the post I'd written about asking for help when we needed it.
It is difficult for me to receive anything -- money, compliments, help, love -- because I keep thinking I have to prove I can do it on my own and that I don't need anyone and that I'm tough enough. That's a huge lie, for one thing. But also, it means I've forgotten is that it isn't even about me. Denying the giver the opportunity to be faithful and obedient and going out on a limb and blessed by giving is a wrong and hurtful thing that I want no part of.
Receiving well is its own form of giving.
Labels: essay, friends, nicaragua 2008, religion
Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger 3/06/2008 06:49:00 PM
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