Changes.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      1 comments      link this post     


Because of the times, the blogs -- they are a changin'.

I've changed the look and layout of the site.

I've gone with a newspaper theme (still tweaking it to "perfection" meaning I need to whip my code into shape still because of visible errors), which I find deliciously ironic in this era of weakening actual newspaper circulation due to digital inroads in the news business. I've deleted pages and pared things down and worked at automating this site by turning it into about 95 percent blog. I've also gone and let the creepy cartoon characters run amok. They've even bled onto other web sites.


I've changed my mind.

I even have a new category on this blog for just such occasions, which I will be posting on whenever I deem it necessary to clarify my opinion on a matter. For example:

• I have determined it was a very big mistake to have taken part, either in the comments or as a writer, on a religious web site. ( Posts here, here, and here will point you in the right direction on that topic.) It ended up weakening my reputation and harming my spirit. It added unnecessary stress and anger to my life. Which is stupid beyond belief.
  
• I have decided it was a complete waste of my time to blog on just about any of the stupidity found in the "Christian" realm of internet sites, most of which such wasted-time posts can be found here. No point to it. All clanging cymbals.
• No need to say "I could have told you that, Julie" because I would not have listened. I learn at my own pace.

I've started to change my idea on why and how I blog.

But, I'm not to the final conclusion yet, and will save that for a later day. This past week, during my short breather from blogging, I began writing down thoughts and hope to get them into something coherent. We'll see. I'll start with a new site look, first. (Heh.)


I've changed how I will relate to my readers.

::I have great concern that this will sound unnecessarily cruel or rude to the readers of this blog, which it is not intended to do. Please remember that, no matter how I fumble the words. Thank you for understanding.::

This is the most significant and least up-front change. The full details can be found on the blog/web site EULA page. Look for the sections on email from readers, and the like.

I have had no less than three separate situations in the week leading up to, and following, the blogging break that have made me feel either stupid, awkward, embarrassed, hurt, or, in general, overly burdened with concern for people not actually in my real, day-to-day existence. These would all have been non-issues had I never bothered to return emails or strike up a conversation with someone outside of the comments section.

Or, actually, even in the comments section.

This isn't the first time (nor will it be, I suspect, the last seeing as how I learn at my own pace AND at my own amount of repetition) I've had to cut ties with people I've become acquainted with on the internet. I laugh with some painful irony as I read the old post and realize my blog has somehow experienced reincarnation. But, I have -- whether it is good or bad or both, as I suspect -- a rather trusting and open personality and I easily forget. And I am also clumsy when it comes to understanding that what I think is being friendly and conversational can sometimes be construed as wanting more than just a friend or mentor relationship.

Cutting ties with these "virtual" relationships that exceeded their bounds back then, when I wrote that earlier post, seemed less involved. I now find myself doing seemingly silly but oddly difficult things like: deleting numbers and text messages from my cell phone, deleting people from my email address book, deleting people from my Facebook account, deleting blogs from my blogroll and feed reader -- essentially, removing them from daily contact with my eyes and mind. You can't cut a tie unless you actually cut it, and if you don't cut it, you haven't done anything but delude yourself.

There are people that need to do the same with me.

This all may seem harsh, particularly to regular, loyal readers*. I value my readers. I want more readers. But I want readers, not entanglements. It's not meant as a punishment or a delight in bitchery, but more as personal necessity. I simply can't take any more instances like those from the past few years, and the bizarre explosion of events in the past two weeks which caught me completely by surprise.

I care about you, reader, as a person, but the only way I am able to show it is by continuing to write blog posts as best I can. I can't form a personal connection with you any longer.

At least, I'm going to make a concerted and dedicated effort in this new regard.

Yes, on some things, I've changed my mind: how I connect with readers, what I'm willing to give and share, where I draw the line, why I refuse to let myself feel guilty for ignoring people I do not know, and why I now understand the benefits for my own personal well-being in doing this. But...


I don't plan on changing everything.

On other things, however, I have not changed my mind. I will continue to blog as best I can and provide you with something to read (and all kinds of other content) whenever you stumble onto my corner of the internet.

That's all I can offer you, and nothing more. I think it's a pretty good deal for you, really. The exchange is very fair.

I hope you continue to visit this blog. I enjoy your presence and support for my writing. Thank you.




* Some of my regular readers that I've been emailing (in the realm of platonic friendship or a mentor-type relationship) are my friends. Some I've met in real life. I hope to continue to email these few, as long as they are interested in the fascinating conversations we've had. It is a bit saddening to think that such communication will be absent from any new, future readers, but the collateral results are destructive and I'd rather make these changes now.

Labels: blogging, changed my mind

Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger  3/26/2008 01:30:00 AM   (1) comments   Links to this post    

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