Julie R. Neidlinger: Lone Prairie Blog

I will not wear a dickie.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 4 comments link this post

This past weekend I participated in a "style show."

I will not go into details, because I find it terrifying and mildly humiliating, that I had to stand on a stage in front of people and be looked at while my clothing was described. To even suggest that I have "style" and that I want to "show" this alleged style is unthinkable to those who know me. Suffice it to say that it involved a local winter festival that my employer participated in, along with other retail clothing stores from the town.

I had to wear a turtle neck shirt.

I don't like turtle necks. They are claustrophobic clothing. They are, essentially, knit beasts that are trying to strangle and choke. I don't like any shirt up around my neck. I haven't worn a turtle neck since high school.

My co-worker and I were having another of our non-productive Seinfeldian discussions.

"You wear a scarf. That doesn't make any sense. That's around your neck," she pointed out.

"That's different. It isn't attached to clothing that's entombed around my body."

"It's the same thing. It's around your neck."

"It's not the same thing. It's easily removed and not as restrictive."

"In that case, why not just wear a dickie? They aren't attached to a full shirt." she asked.

"I refuse to wear any piece of clothing called a 'dickie.' That's against at least three of my personal rules."

Lousy turtleneck shirts.