About that sharp-dressed man...
written by Julie R. Neidlinger 8 comments link this postA book I read recently made mention of something I've noticed when I travel to Nicaragua: we Americans, with all our money and access to clothes beyond clothes, dress...like slobs. The Nicaraguans, though -- even in some tough living conditions and extreme heat and the blowing dirt -- look sharp. They really do. I have no idea how they keep their clothes clean and tucked in and hair pulled back. It always amazes me; I can't seem to not get dirty and messed up.
The book pointed out a difference in high context (in this case, Nicaragua) and low context (in this case, us) cultures. Essentially, in Western cold-climate cultures, our societies are so fluid and have had such an influx of cultures, and that, combined (especially in the U.S. and Australia) with a relatively young country, means that we don't have excessive amounts of unwritten social norms and rules.
In other words, we like casual, we like comfortable, and our culture no longer demands that we dress in a suit and tie.
But, I gotta say, it's true about that sharp-dressed man.
Just seeing a guy who has bothered tucking in the shirt, for example, now catches my eye.
I'm not saying guys have to pull a McGyver and button their collars up to the very top (that's actually creepy), but there's something to be said for a guy who shows up clean, with evidence of shaving in the past 24 hours, and neatly dressed.
This is, of course, actually against some concepts of style now, which dictates un-tucked shirts and jeans and a certain kind of tennis shoe and purposefully messy hair. And hideous white belts. Oh, yuck.
There's a line in the movie Clueless (that classic take on the story of Emma from the 1990's) in which the character Cher sums up her own similar traitorous take on the style of the day:
So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.
This, of course, applies to women as well. All joking about my showing up looking like a disaster...I do understand that the same applies for me and so I have been making a good-faith effort to dress nicely and take some time with my appearance. I've long been an advocate of fabulous -- even if uncomfortable -- shoes. I know the sacrifice. I don't do it every day here at home, but when I'm out and about...sure. Crack out the cute shoes and shirts. Why, I now even own a few dresses. This is huge.
Yes, I'm tired of the Youth-Pastor Slacker Video-Game-Player Live-In-My-Mother's-Basement I-Wear "Vintage"-T-Shirts-From-Children's-Cereal-And-Other-Ironic-Themes - look that a lot of guys wear. I think it would surprise some guys (as well as their female counterparts who insist it doesn't matter) at the reaction they'd get if they pulled it together. It doesn't have to be Armani or even a suit, but just...you know. Sharp-dressed man. Nice khakis. Fresh, neat shirt. A tie on Sunday, maybe, not out of obligation to be holy or churchy, but just because it's definitely not going to be a place where, if you're a farmer for example, your tie will get caught in the PTO. Dress nicely for whatever size and shape you are; it makes a huge difference. No one thinks you're thinner than you are if you wear huge, shapeless clothes.
There's just something to be said for the neat appearance of the non-cool dork.
Look, if the goal is to be comfortable, by all means, be comfortable. Wear the Lucky Charms T-shirt and scroungy cap and the ratty jeans. But just know that it really is true: every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man. Call it whatever you want; chalk it up to women being awful for not seeing the true you inside. I'm just telling you the way it is.
It is for this reason, thinking as I do and finding myself advocating tucked in shirts for guys, that I realize I am old.
Labels: fashion, relationships, women
Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger 1/19/2008 11:21:00 PM
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8 Comments:
At the computer, I always wear a top hat and tails.
By 
, at
20/1/08 02:06
I'm not sure that I would agree with the author about the influx of cultures and being a relatively young country, at least concerning the U.S., having much to do with liking casual and not having excessive amounts of unwritten social norms and rules. Historically, we have always been a young country. It has only been in the relative recent past that we have abandoned the norms of dress and behavior that served our society well.
I am old enough to be part of the older, "stuffy" America that observed the norms of behavior that not only required you to dress appropriately when going out, but also had standards of how you interacted with one another. Men did wear suits and ties and women wore dresses. Men stood when women entered a room, opened doors for them, pulled out chairs to seat women, children respected adults and also knew what was appropriate and what was not.
The rejection of those norms has more to do with the rebellion against the society of the 1950s that took place in the 1960s. While it was a rebellion of a relatively small segment of the society, their ideas about what should be "norms" for society gradually took hold. At least the less radical elements. It didn't happen over night, rather it was a gradual change, one small step at a time.
I don't know if we can, as a society, go back to those norms and the sharp dressed man and sharp dressed woman. Yes, there will always be those who appreciate sartorial splendor and appropriate occassions, but we seem to be the few, and becoming fewer.
By the way, that's a great photograph of your father.
By 
Rey, at
20/1/08 06:12
I would never disagree with Z.Z. Top.
By , at
20/1/08 14:30
"At the computer, I always wear a top hat and tails."
Interesting you say that, Deniro. I have a prom dress handy for when I blog.
By Julie R. Neidlinger, at
20/1/08 16:39
You know that your dress shoes are on their last leg when a church member gives you money and says "Go but yourself a good pair of Bostonians." And so I went and got a pair and broke them in this morning. My feet are still hurting 10 hours later. Such is the price for looking snazzy (and how often does one get to use the word snazzy?).
By Will, at
20/1/08 18:18
Try Rockports.
And never let anyone say "Go but yourself" to you again.
By , at
20/1/08 19:13
A pair of Johnson-Murphy shoes, while somewhat expensive, would make an excellent pair of dress shoes that will last, with proper care, a lifetime.
By Rey, at
20/1/08 20:51
deniro and rey,
I really don't mind the Bostonians . . . they just take a couple of times wearing them to break them in, and besides (as I said) they are pretty snazzy shoes - all shiny and leathery and though the rest me might look a little on the slobby side, my shoes look like a million bucks :)
I would have probably been offended if anyone other than the gentleman who gave me the cash had said anything, but he is more like a grandfather figure to me. 92 years old and a member of the church I pastor for almost 80 of those years. Walton is a great guy, and I just did the funeral for his older sister a few weeks ago. I think he was just trying to be kind and do something nice for me.
Besides, with the money he gave me, I was able to buy those snazzy dress shoes and an equally snazzy pair of very comfortable Clarks boat shoes at a nearby outlet mall:
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/16224916/c/2208.html.
I just like complaining : )
By Will, at
21/1/08 13:44
