Julie R. Neidlinger: Lone Prairie Blog

Is good.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 9 comments link this post

I forget that God is good.

My friend, during a recent visit to see her, was telling me about a spiritual breakthrough in her life and she summed it up by stating emphatically that she had to realize that God was good. He was not bad, nor evil, but good.

I know that God is good, but I don't actually seem to know it. I didn't respond much after she said that, beyond a nod or "uh huh" -- I'm terrible at being a non-responder out loud, when much is going on in my head.

She got me to thinking, something snagged in my mind, though it didn't go far at the time. Later, as we were listening to music, she played a song by John Mayer, off of his Continuum CD*.

"This is a great song," she said, as the opening guitar music to "The Heart of Life" began. "Listen to this line...your circle of friends will defend the silver lining... that's a great line."

I didn't respond much. I agreed that the CD was pretty good. It was good enough, in fact, that I bought it the next day and ended up listening to it non-stop on the five-hour drive back to North Dakota.

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

That line repeats in my head. The heart of life is good. I don't attribute any religious connotations to Mayer's swell lyrics or intent, but the random thoughts I seemingly didn't respond to finally connected and I knew. It was true.

God is good. He is good, not evil. He is life, not death. This is a huge revelation to me, oddly, though I could have parroted back these same thoughts for years while never really understanding it. Somehow, I adopted a kind of image of God as Thor, huge hammer in hand, waiting to crush and smash to smithereens for no apparent reason. I often suspiciously wondered if I shouldn't tag my prayers with a kind of "please don't drop the hammer today, God" ending out of fear that he was malevolent.

It is important to see God as good! I can't live if I don't; he is life, and all life is through him.

Whatever my current level of happiness may be, God is still good. When I understand that he is good, only then can I understand all those things I see as bad in my life. His goodness has nothing to do with my current state of emotion. I must know that God is good, really know it, before I'll ever come to a place, like my friend has, where I shed the huge loads of baggage and weight that I insist upon carrying around instead of the lighter yoke.

In spite of, because of, whatever else...

The Heart of Life is good.

-----------------------------------------------

*This is a CD that almost nears the "perfect album mark for me, meaning that it nearly joins DC Talk's Jesus Freak and ABBA Gold, two CDs that I play all the way through and have no desire to skip any song. Continuum is very close. I recommend it.

Labels: essay, friends, music, religion

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9 Comments:

Julie,

I agree Continuum is a great album. I have been listening to it off and on for the past few months.

And while I can affirm that God is good with my lips, it is much harder for me to affirm it with my heart. There are so many "tapes" from my childhood and youth that continue to play inside me, particularly the tape of God as a smiting God, who doesn't take any crap from anyone, and who would just as soon send you to hell for an eternity of undying flames and unquenched worms.

I guess what I am trying to say is that in my best moments I can say God is good or affirm with John that God is love, but it is always a struggle.

By Will, at 19/12/07 23:08

One of my greatest hurdles, here, is that my definition of "good" is quite limited. Limited, for example, to things that don't hurt, that further my own desires, and that keep me happy through ignorance.

Saying "God is good" is so much deeper than such a weak definition of good.

Then, of course, there's my weak definition of what is "bad" i.e. "not good."

By Julie R. Neidlinger, at 19/12/07 23:29

Well, posts like this always make me wonder what it is that make people feel like they woke up all of a sudden and realized that God is good.

What makes you feel that?

What leads us to say "God is good" one day and "God is _______" the next?

(This is not an attempt at argument. I'm just curious.)

By Jonathan G. Reinhardt, at 20/12/07 06:08

It's not as if yesterday, I though "God is not good" but rather, what I knew in my head finally connecting in my entire being and changing the way I live.

As to what lead me to this realization...well, like I wrote in this post, something my friend said and a silly song. I don't know why such things happen like that, but that's what finally made me know it in my heart rather than just my head.

By Julie R. Neidlinger, at 20/12/07 09:58

ABBA?

By deniro, at 29/12/07 12:43