Face to face.
written by Julie R. Neidlinger 11 comments link this postI wrote about it before, of the importance of being there, in person.
Ardent Internet users all have their dirty secrets, i.e. a web site, blog, or forum that they absolutely can't extract themselves from. Mine is no secret. I've blogged about my challenges and gripes that stem from the conversation that happens there. It's a complete car wreck, and I can't look away. Mainly, because I'm not a bystander, but part of the car wreck.
That's why, despite my many sniping comments and irritation, I was glad to see a fresh post that echoes what I'd written earlier, about how, in person, we would rarely treat people as we do online.
In the post, Flesh and Blood, Chris (of Fishing the Abyss) uses a personal story to outline the importance of remembering that behind every disagreement and every computer monitor and keyboard is...a real person.
In person, if you really, really annoy me and I can't stand you anymore, I...walk away. But I don't do that on the Internet.
In person, if I completely disagree with you but you don't personally irritate me, I...let you talk, and, if I respond, do so gently.
You'd never know that if you read my responses to some of the posts when I'm out chumming. I zing and slam and cut and use words to their harshest.
Me: I know I could never be as cruel as I sometimes let myself be online, if I were to be face-to-face with a person.
Henry (Rick): Yes, Julie, but your cruels are sometimes very creative.
Me: (But that’s a weakness, not a strength.)
I believe that. It's a weakness, not a strength, to use words to cut. It is lacking self-control, and choosing to be cruel rather than respond with thought and tempered emotion.
Sadly, I know I'm not there yet, that place where I know I won't do it again.
Labels: blogging, slice of laodicea
Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger 7/12/2007 10:16:00 AM
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11 Comments:
Alright Julie, I confess. I have been picking on a far left blog for the last three months using a fake identity. But, this guy is nuts with his 9/11 conspiracy theories, gay marriage and John Edwards for President propoganda. What is a red blooded conservative, God fearing man supposed to do?
By 
, at
12/7/07 10:58
Send flowers with a tag that says: I completely disagree with you, you bumbling, ranting, mindless idiot.
Flowers speak volumes.
By 
Julie, at
12/7/07 11:02
I LOVE that sol is a tag on this post.
Do you still frequent CRN.info? I had to stop. It was giving me ulcers. Both sides are beating the same, tired drums.
I want some new, electronic drums with funky reverb and schweet effects.
So I visit this site now.
/shameless, perhaps sinful, self-promotion.
By Todd, at
12/7/07 11:34
Yes, I have been to CRN.info twice today, and left a comment on the post I linked to in this post.
I admit to feeling like that site, which I think started well, has acquired a lot of...sludge. The tone of some of the regular commenters and some of the writers is incredibly negative, on both "sides." Yet, I still go there because, like I said...I CAN'T STOP MYSELF. Though it sucketh the life out of me.
Just keep linking, Todd. I know I left ONE link in your comments section so I certainly deserve to have you put FOUR LINKS OF YOUR OWN in my comments section. Ahem.
By Julie, at
12/7/07 11:43
A slight disagreement here if I may.
I was deeply into the SOL mindset. Attended John MacArthur's church (SOL people's living hero) in my formative years.
Did we treat people better in person? Depends on how you look at it.
Most of us did not engage anyone outside of our castle. We just talked manure about them, but we seldom talked to them. But I imagined having all kinds of ammunition if I ever got to talk to anyone of them. I pictured myself kicking some serious ass. All those talking points I was equipped with to destroy the theological girlie weaklings.
And the Internet came along. All the pent up emotions I had to unleash on the apostates I heard so much about. Go get'em! Destroy them!
So the bottom line. We seldom talk to people we disagree with face to face. We talk about them. We hear lots of lectures and sermons about them.
I am not sure if that is necessarily better or worse.
By David Cho, at
12/7/07 13:22
I am done with the linking. It was fun, but now I just feel dirty and silly.
Oh, and Brett, I think that's actually my blog you're commenting on.
By Todd Ramsey, at
12/7/07 14:28
I comment regularly on CRN.info even though I am not in their theological camp. Perhaps I am not in Julie's camp either, she is very slippery.
But I have found it cathardic spiritually because I have made friends from acroos the tracks. Some would say I am compromising but I really don't think you can show Christ's love and grace without appearing as a compromiser. They accused our Lord Himself of compromising because He rubbed shoulders with people not on the approved list.
I mean, no one knows I comment here, but if they do I will claim that someone has highjacked my identity. You see, I have a ways to go.
By Henry (Rick) Frueh, at
12/7/07 14:36
I camp alone.
By Julie, at
13/7/07 00:50
Judging from your words and ministry to Latin America, I believe you never camp alone.
By Henry (Rick) Frueh, at
13/7/07 15:06
I was banned from SOL. Too many of their bloggers were forced to retract posts after I pointed out the old eye/log, eye/speck issue. After a while, I think it got tiring taking down their own posts, so they just banned me.
In many parts of the Godblogosphere, you'll find a post from someone from Group A who thinks Group B is doing C wrong, making Group B heretics. But when you start swapping the letters, everyone winds up with some skeleton in the theological closet. Then when you point out that perhaps Groups A might be better served by cleaning out its own closet first before it screams at the skeleton in Group B's closet, you get called all sorts of nasty things for being...well, truthful and intellectually honest.
We all have blind spots. That some people would rather point out others' than fix their own just slays me.
By DLE, at
14/7/07 01:43
Depends on the context.
Sometimes a cutting remark is self-defense. You have to protect yourself against the predators, the vampires.
Sometimes it's impatience with someone who doesn't see things as clearly as you do.
With certain truths, there seems to be little time for diplomacy. Online forums often resemble babysitting. I don't have time to teach everyone. Not for free, anyway.
By , at
17/7/07 10:49
