Evaporation.
written by Julie R. Neidlinger 6 comments link this postIt's hard to hold onto water.
It's hard to hold onto friends. People don't stand still; we are always moving, and we are always moving out of each other's grasp.
We know people, and we drink in the friendship. How is it that I find myself believing that a friendship is as it was until suddenly, in some seemingly random moment, I look down and see that my hands are all but dry, the water having seeped and evaporated out slowly over my careless use of time? Barely damp, the water slipped through my fingers and I never realized it was happening. It takes work to hold onto the friends that count the most, and too often I grow lazy.
I know I can't keep all friends, and that living friendships are never locked in time as much as those that have long since passed into a dead and dry remember-when.
Why do I try to hold onto something as difficult as water?
I try because I am thirsty. And never so much as when I realize I've let the water go.
Labels: friends, personal, relationships
Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger 7/07/2007 12:00:00 AM
Like this post? Subscribe to the feed.
Help support this site.
Facebook |
Stumble It! |
Del.icio.us |
DiggIt! |
Technorati |
Blinklist |
Furl |
reddit |
Newsvine
6 Comments:
A relative of mine, a retired English teacher, lives in the southern part of the state, and though that's not very far, my folks are not the traveling sort. So they only see this guy and his wife maybe once a year.
To my folks, that's not a problem. That's just the normal way of doing things. But when I talked to my relative on the phone once, he seemed annoyed and put off by this. He expected more visits, more communication. He thought he had done something wrong.
I wondered if this discrepancy in perception was because he spent most of his life in a big city, where things move faster, where people are constantly around each other, trying to get in touch with each other. Although I realize that friendships have to be cultivated, I'm always surprised when absence of communication constitutes, in some else's eyes, a snub. I suppose it can be. But it would have been better for him to come out and discuss these things plainly rather than make an assumption without proof. Some hidden guilt maybe? Maybe if he'd shut up about politics?
I have friends whose lives have changed, who have moved on, who are busy with other things halfway across the country. Sometimes they have room for me. Other times, I have inadvertently become part of a past that they would rather leave behind.
By 
, at
7/7/07 19:57
This post has been removed by the author.
By 
Jewell Ertman, at
7/7/07 20:06
remember those plants you used to be able to get at the dime store? oh, maybe not, you ARE from a younger generation. anyway they were shriveled up dry things but once you put them in water, they greened up. and you could take them out and dry them up and start all over again. i think they are a desert plant. friendships are like that. true ones anyway. you can get busy and let them be but then give them a call and it is all still there. or they can go to grad school and not have time for you for 2 years and you don't care and can't wait to go have lunch with them after they get their cool new job after they graduate! so don't worry, toss a few drops in the way of the ones you miss and see if they will 'green up'!
By , at
7/7/07 20:56
I live in a large metro area. I still don't see people I would like to see.
I see people at Church. I see people in business. Not all of them are preferred "Friends".
I have people I wish I could see more of more. They live far far away. Aberdeen SD, Central Michigan, Kansas City, Florida, Great Bend KS, Fargo and on and on.
Oh we exchange emails and the occasional phone call but for the most part it's pretty vapored. Like your post mentioned.
I must tell the truth, I have more conversations with people I have never met in person who I enjoy. Perhaps it's the opposite. If I met them in person I wouldn't enjoy them so much. I don't know.
It's a hard thing keeping relationships vital and alive particularly at a distance. So, I cultivate what I can.
I'll be frank, reading your blog and about a dozen others I read every day is like a conversation. Then sometimes we actually exchange views. Even when it's contrary views they aren't bad. I didn't agree all the time with every person I was in personal touch with
But in the end, there's nothing like looking someone in the eye and talking about issues that matter.
Thanks for a great post. That's why you're the best.
By Gene Redlin, at
7/7/07 21:32
I think karma would make a good friend.
By , at
8/7/07 19:56
In agreement with everyone here. This is a great post. The water analogy is indeed priceless.
By David Cho, at
8/7/07 23:20
