Ordinary time.
written by Julie R. Neidlinger 1 comments link this postI want to throw away the idea of ordinary time.
I've let too much time slip by.
It never bothered me, if it was ordinary.
Another day. Same old stuff. Same people.
Same clock.
And then something happens that seems out of place because it is not ordinary, it is not usual, and I wonder how I can possibly handle making a decision on such a thing because it looms too large. I try to find a way to stay safe in what is ordinary and instead find myself settling for what changes, but slowly.
I think I'm not prepared.
That I didn't get my ordinary life in order like I wanted.
That I can't possibly deal with something out of the ordinary.
I hate the ordinary as much as I want to stay bound in it.
There is no ordinary time.
As soon as I see how extraordinary every moment is, how every decision is a decision, the extraordinary events don't catch me off guard.
"Hello," I might say. "I know you. Yesterday you were me, sitting on the front step, deciding to paint my toenails blue instead of pink with the wind lazily pushing across the grass, and today you are asking me to possibly change the direction of my life."
Both decisions were decisions.
I was given the time to make them.
I enjoyed and struggled with the time.
All time is extraordinary, and if it isn't, then I am merely wasting it.
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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger 5/21/2007 11:52:00 AM
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1 Comments:
The nature of time as we see it is that it is one-directional and even. The half hour you hold a dying persons hand is exactly the same number of seconds as the half hour you sit in traffic or watch and episode of a sitcom. And it is only in retrospect that you can tell the moments that were a change in the direction of your life. What looks like a monumental decision like whether to take a job or spend a huge amount of money on a car or property can have minimal significant effect but simply choosing to answer as call instead of letting it go to the machine or answering an email can lead to an amazing opportunity or a new wonderful friendship.
You knew all that. But the other thing about it is that we can't be expected to know. So we should live a little more in the presence and enjoy each moment a bit more in case it turns out to be a 'big one' and we should sweat the ones that seem to be a very big deal a little less because the probably won't turn out to be. We just can't know and we cant be held accountable for that so we just do our best moment by moment.
I mean, the blue toenails could end up being the bigger deal if it starts a conversation with someone about art or any number of other thing. It could!
By 
plannedscapes, at
23/5/07 10:29
