Julie R. Neidlinger: Lone Prairie Blog

The meaning of the trinkets.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

A friend sent me some items that can be found in the U.S. House of Representatives gift shop. These were offered as proof of the strange things that can be found there for tourists to buy.

The items I received are:

mouse pad
coaster
foam Capitol dome
dinner napkins
hair scrunchy

I'm finding the round U.S. House of Representatives mouse pad delightful. I feel very official as I move my mouse about. The clear, acrylic coaster is also coming in handy, replacing my much used and dirtied Home Star Runner coaster.

The foam Capitol dome is not as confusing in purpose as it originally appeared to m. After much deliberation during which I could most certainly have accomplished many useful tasks, I decided that it was meant to be squished to relieve stress. Is there anything more stress-relieving that squeezing the symbol of our nation's government?

I wondered how many natural resources go into making such items every year.

The U.S. House of Representative table napkins will be very useful. I'm trying to create some kind of party or entertainment situation where their presence will be perfectly out of place. I'm contemplating bringing them to church and leaving them in the napkin holder so that before Sunday school, Mike can get his coffee and then holler something about the government napkins. I imagine placing a napkin here and there amidst other plain napkins, perhaps in restaurants or private homes, making the random user wonder question reality as he or she knows it.

Most horrific in the selection of carefully chosen oddities was the navy blue hair scrunchy with the words "U.S. Congress" written repeatedly in elegant white cursive across the fabric. The obvious horror is that someone invented the scrunchy in the first place. The fact that someone must purchase scrunchies as a gift or remembrance item of their time at the nation's capitol disturbs me a great deal. Further, the scrunchy uses writing that can't be read when the scrunch is scrunched i.e. used properly. Essentially, in order for the scrunchy to be fully appreciated for where it was purchased (which is the entire idea behind buying items as a tourist), it is imperative that it be used improperly. Truly a product of the government.

Who decided what products would be created and then offered to the public? Was there a committee to decide what items should be available? A hair scrunchy?

I will continue to consider the meaning behind these trinkets.