Celebrating Earth Day.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      5 comments      link this post     


I celebrated Earth Day yesterday by drinking a cup of organic green tea in a Styrofoam cup during Sunday School, and then throwing the cup away in the garbage. The plastic garbage can was lined with a plastic bag.

Sheryl Crow thinks we ought to use less toilet paper and wear clothes with attachable cloth napkins. I already own such clothes; they're called "sleeves." I was also born with something called "the back of my hand" which also works well. Sheryl Crow is a good singer and her CD's come encased in plastic wrap, a plastic sticker, a plastic case, and then the plastic disc itself. There are also paper inserts not printed with soy ink.

In honor of the religious holiday that is Earth Day, I have created downloadable PDF certificates that you can use at your leisure. I shouldn't be the only one making big bucks and handing out carbon offset offsets. No.

I'm all about equal opportunity.

I give you: Official Certificate Denoting a Real Carbon Offset Offset.

These certificates can be used to:

I'm also considering a new kind of rural economic development which would involve taking money from guilty people who live in cities and feel guilty about that, and using it to buy trees, using it to promise not to plant, etc. Sure, there are government programs. But why not set our own rules and high prices?

Guilt relief isn't cheap.

Yes, I'm considering accepting money from people and using it to buy trees to plant around our missile site. I mean, if it makes them feel better and helps me find a way to fund trees, I don't see why not. Global warming: it'll pay for the trees yet.

UPDATE: Via email, I was made aware of another site that you may be interested in: Free Carbon Offsets

| Why, Julie, why? you ask. Why? Because people who live in huge houses and own many houses and travel around the country and world on private jets and buses and waste money and resources on luxury items and extravagant lifestyles and consume more than the average person that they are browbeating into using less toilet paper and give mouth service to a life style that they don't adhere to themselves and feel guilty and try to alleviate the guilt by throwing money around and dumping guilt off onto others should shut up Al Gore. |

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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger  4/23/2007 01:39:00 AM   (5) comments   Links to this post    

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5 Comments:

Are you encouraging wasteful living?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 23/4/07 09:43  

No, actually, I'm not. That's kind of my point.

I'm not going to list my "green" qualificiations in life because I don't see the purpose in that little competition. I don't, however, respond well to the rich and famous telling me I'm not doing enough and making suggestions to, for example, use less toilet paper. That the toilet habits of a nation is anything Sheryl Crow has any business commenting on...well.

So, as a passive agressive person, I make fake carbon offset offsets. And then I keep on doing things that I've always done to not be wasteful.

By Blogger Julie, at 23/4/07 09:48  

Sorry I can't go along with one toilet paper sheet at a time as Ms Crow suggests. Now when Wal-Mart has 12 packs of TP on sale for $2.99 a pack. I will download her song "Real Gone" from the soundtrack of "Cars" for my son to listen to. Is this bad for the environment??

By Anonymous Brett Benson, at 23/4/07 11:11  

Most Cheryl Crow songs are bad for the environment.

Except for Every Day Is A Winding Road... that one is cool.

By Anonymous Jim, at 23/4/07 16:42  

I really liked her Globe Sessions CD, though.

I did.

By Blogger Julie, at 23/4/07 16:47  

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