A peek at the digital files.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger      1 comments      link this post     


For over six years I've been collecting email comments from random people who have happened upon loneprairie.net at some point or another. I've kept them all, as you know. I'm finally going through all of them to categorize the whole mess better because it's either that or sleep and really, who needs to sleep?

I've gotten random requests to:

I'd forgotten what people had emailed me, a complete stranger. After going through hundreds and hundreds of emails filled with mind-boggling requests, comments, insults and compliments, my head is spinning. One minute I'm a great and fabulous artist and the next I'm a small-minded moron. Plus, I seem to have become some kind of strange clearing house for art requests as well as...well, requests dealing with any subject I've ever blogged on.

Surely this happens to others out there, with web sites. Right?

Anyway, here's a few, with comments that I in no way actually made but probably wanted to. I'm very good about replying to nearly everyone in a polite manner even if my head is screaming something else. I have what I call the "Thank You Note" gift i.e. I can write very sincere responses for any request or situation. It's amazing. You should envy it.

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i read your blog.
i am female.
i was born and raised in ND.
i discovered your website through the dakota pundit blog.
i enjoy reading ND blogs.
i don't speak nearly as robotically as this note would reflect.
[This is funny, actually.]

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i am Stella Philips considering the fact that I sourced your e-mial from a human resource profile database of the country, i am contacting you for a art job if you could...
[If I could understand, I'd help you. But I can't. I can neither a) understand you and b) find it in me to care.]

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Dear Mrs. Neidlinger.  I happen to work for Blue Cross and Blue Shield, and I can fully attest this.  I agree with you.  And if you think their letter is amusing, you should hear some of the brainwashing techniques they use on their employees.
[Ha. I knew it. I believe he's referring to this now famous post]

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Hello. I have made several attempts to contact CSI on their web site and keep getting an error message. Please let me know when the problem is corrected. Thank you
[I'm sure once CSI gets wind of your efforts, they'll pick up the digital "forensic" clues and find you. No worries.]

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Hey.. if you don't like max's stories... f*** yourself..
[Edited. Prick.]

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How did I stumble on this website?  But I've been fascinated ever since.  I can't wait to come back when I have more time. -- Tim
[I'm thinking happy thoughts towards you, Tim.]

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Nice website!

I saw a copy of Thror's Map from the Hobbit that you had done.  It was posted on one of those fan sites, but had your  name and url in tiny print on the side.

I was wondering if you had done any other maps of Middle Earth on parchement, and if so if you have any for sale.

Thx!
[No. I'm embarrassed enough as it is that I create fan art for LOTR; I can't possibly go around selling it. That map, by the way, is in the hands of the lovely Jessica G., a great young lady who deserves better than my hack efforts at map-making.]

[UPDATE: OK, OK, OK. For those of you emailing, I uploaded the map I copied. Here's Thror's map. I did a drawing of the Nazgul, and the Balrog. I won't bother with the rest because it was terrible fan art. My rendition of Galadriel, for example, was unforgiveable.]

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im writing to you i have a friendthat sing gospel music she looking for a full time job she wil also send you a tape can you help her her email addresss is [...]
[Not only can't I help you, but I can't even sing on tune. Sorry.]

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Regarding the quality of the art in music and theme for "Kill Bill", I too am impressed. QT grew up with this art form to structure his thoughts; he's pretty good at it. His best movies convey this!
[I have no idea what this guy was talking about. I never blogged it.]

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I was really enjoying your artwork.  Then I was shocked to find out you are Bush supporter.  How could this be? - I asked myself.  I still don't have an answer. --Ken
[...but, but, but...Ken!]

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Can you tell me what Key the Tin Whistle is in the Titanic Theme Song and the other Tianic song-"My Heart Will go On." and is it a teawked whistle? Thanks.
[How would I possibly know this?]

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north dakota has the cleanest air and nicest people in the nation...plus the bad lands are pretty gnarly
[Yeah. YEAH!]

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I need to find some art works done by Winslow Homer will you please send some images of some of his artwork?
[Try Google. Which is how you found my site.]

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greetings in the name of our Lord jesus christ, am michael Ademola 23 yrs old boy from nigeria but right now i base in senegal doing the works of my father the Lord jesus christ,i saw that you need musician as a trumpeter am ready to work with you sir for the name of the Lord to be praise
[Does Nigeria export anything but scams?]

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Dear Julie,
I would like to purchase the Book "Tolkiens World", ISBN 1-56731-248-9. Can you sell it to me or help me to buy it?
Yours sincerely, [...]
[No. And no. But you could try AMAZON.COM instead of loneprairie.net...just a thought.]

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Can we order Dakota Seasonings soup mixes by mail from you via credit card? Or at all?
[No. You can't. I don't know what you're even talking about.]

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Julie,
What do you know about the Langdon Crop Circles?  I was born in Langdon.  My brother still farms the family farm.  Saw a program on the educational channel about the crop circles that occured July of 2000.  Do you know anything or have pictures? It didn't seem to get much publicity or research investigation.  Do you know why? Thanks for any info.
[Actually, I have a whole file folder of photos and research done by people from some organization that researches this. So as odd as this sounds, yes. I can help.]

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hello, i'm marc,i like much the art, design, paint, I would like to know of  his art,write me
sorry my english is bad
Marc
[!WTF?!]

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I write to ask: Do you know where to obtain  a print of Mu Qi's "Six Persimmons"? I'd very much appreciate any leads you might provide.
[I agree it's a beautiful piece. I'm from North Dakota and live in a farm house. I can't help you obtain a print of such a beautiful, EXPENSIVE, OUT-OF-MY-RANGE work of art.]

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This is just one folder, a few random emails skimmed from the top. I have about 45 overly specified folders left to go through. I'm bracing myself for the onslaught.

Moral of the story: Before you send an email or message to a complete stranger, please keep the following in mind.
  1. They probably don't care about your request, particularly if it has NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT THEY DO, OR COULD POSSIBLY KNOW.
  2. IBID.
Really, though, there's so much material in those files for a blogger to have a go at... like emails from my eHarmony experiment.

Ye gads. Awful.


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Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger  3/29/2007 12:07:00 AM   (1) comments   Links to this post    

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1 Comments:

Im an artist interested in people and they're artwork that truly refect the world and it's new revelation. If interested write me and or send a sample of your art work to Artistunderground@live.com

By Blogger The Irishman, at 12/12/07 14:09  

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