If you fire your guns, just keep a runnin'.
written by Julie R. Neidlinger 7 comments link this postA coworker and I were trying to solve a serious computer network issue at my one-day-a-week job. We huddled over the computer in question, which was down on the sales floor. This meant customers were likely to come up to us and ask us retail questions that we would not be able to answer. The classic rock radio station played in the background.
Well in eighteen and fourteen we took a little trip...
An elderly lady, who I'd seen walk to the back of the store much earlier, waddled up to us. My coworker and I looked up apprehensively, fearful of the coming request for help that we wouldn't have an answer for.
"I just thought you should know that the stool in the restroom doesn't work well," the lady said.
...we took a little bacon and we took a little beans...
I'm guessing, from her description of the actions she took -- which involved a plunger and a multitude of flushings -- that she maybe would have been better off with fewer beans.
...we fired our guns and the British kept a comin'...
"You need to get that looked at. I had to use the plunger."
I struggled to keep a straight face.
...there wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago...
"You might want to call a plumber and have that looked at," she repeated. "You don't want the next person to have to go through all that."
My coworker and I were stupified. We'd just been dealing with a plug-and-play issue that solved an empty device manager problem, and the last thing we'd expected was knowledge of an elderly customer's bowel movement and toilet experience.
"OK," I said. My coworker nodded.
...we fired once more and they began a runnin'...
The lady waddled off.
My coworker and I were silent for a moment, the mouse unmoving in my hand as we both awkwardly looked at the screen.
"Um..." he said.
I snickered. I'm a professional but not that professional.
...they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles...
"I would never have told anyone that," I said. "Never. If that happened to me, I'd get out of the restroom and duck out of the store."
He nodded.
...they began to runnin'...
"I would have ran out that side door and never looked back."
He nodded.
We looked back to the computer, highly distracted by the still-present visuals in our heads.
Johnny Horton finished singing on the radio and Pink Floyd, chronic Ecclesiastes music, picked up where he left off. I hoped no one would come out of the bathroom during anymore suggestive songs.
Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger 10/18/2006 07:56:00 PM
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7 Comments:
Juls, I have just gotten down choking with laughter over this one as I tried to chat with a certan someone that says to me, "Julie has not written to me yet"
By 
, at
19/10/06 00:07
Did you call the plumber? Please tell me someone called the plumber. Because, personally, I think the woman did you a favor. Some customers wouldn't use the plunger. They would just leave, and you'd learn about the problem as a trickle of raw sewage started seeping across the showroom floor ...
AIEEEE!
By 
Corrine, at
19/10/06 08:12
I'm still trying to get past the fact that your "Classic Rock" station plays "The Battle of New Orleans."
It might as well be spinning Beethoven.
By Eric, at
19/10/06 09:47
The "Classic Rock" station also plays Hootie and the Blow fish and Coldplay. I think they long-ago moved from "classic rock" into some undefinable genre.
I'm not sure which station should be playing Horton.
By Julie, at
19/10/06 09:52
I'd say the station that plays both kinds of music, country AND western.
When I was a DJ in high school, I worked at a station that had what it called a "variety format," and we had the same undefinable, odd, eclectic mix. It was apparently designed to ensure that no listener was completely comfortable with the station.
However, I did get to bring my own records in on Saturday nights and play them just before sign-off.
By Eric, at
19/10/06 15:29
Julie,
Are you on a blogging semi-vacation or what? Two measly posts in over a week and both of them on the same day. Okay - they weren't measly. In fact they were funny, but some of us just need more to read in our feeds.
Just wondering.
By Will, at
22/10/06 15:40
Hi Will,
I'm not on a specific hiatus but I'm...not sure what the deal is.
I don't feel like blogging. Or maybe too melancholy to write anything but sluggish posts. Or mulling other things. Or distracted. Not sure. I have a gazillion ideas every day of things to blog about, but when I sit in front of my blog to write it all fizzles out and I think "Nah. That's just dumb."
Sorry. I'm one of those severly melancholy personalities that see it overcome them sometimes. I'll get it together. Maybe tomorrow.
:-(
By Julie, at
22/10/06 17:33
