If Mike wrote a blog post: Number 1.
written by Julie R. Neidlinger 3 comments link this post::Mike and Colleen are my most faithful blog readers. Mike does not have a blog. However, just about everything that falls out of his mouth is either:
a) A total exaggeration
b) A partial exaggeration
c) Hilariously funny
d) Hilariously funny even if it shouldn't be
e) Whatever else.
I have often though I ought to immortalize all the hilarity on this blog. Here's a go at it.::
Mike, Colleen, the parents and I, after this morning's regular service, decided to attend the second service together. That would be the service at the Dairy Queen.
Small towns.
Mike eventually made it to the table where we all waited with patience, only after he had talked to everyone in the county who, oddly enough, also happened to be at the Dairy Queen.
He's a chatty guy.
"Well I couldn't help it!" he exclaimed, when we commented on his late arrival to the table. "They asked about the weather, then about sports --"
"So you just had to talk about weather and sports?" I cut in.
I'm sure Mike exclaimed something else. Everything is an exclamation with Mike. Here's a few exclamation points for good measure: !!! If you're around Mike, you'll need those.
Anyway, at some point Mike got on the subject of rude drivers with many pointed comments directed at me.* However, he did hit upon a theory that I think is spot on. It's what I will now call the Two-Driver Theory.
The Two-Driver Theory: There are only two kinds of drivers. There are the idiots, who drive too slowly and you pass. Then there are the maniacs, who drive too fast and pass you.
Though it kills me to admit, Mike is correct.**
I will not, however, let you know which one Mike is. But me? I'm the guy in the middle, of course, the one making the judgment call.
We also talked about other stuff.***
-----
*They were so, Mike, so don't even pretend that they weren't.
**Although I still insist you told that joke incorrectly and I know I am right even though I'm not going to shell out the dough to buy the tape of your speech and listen to it to prove that you screwed it up. You didn't say '20 years' and that was vital to the punch line. You didn't say it.
***We talked about Nicaragua. We always talk about Nicaragua. You can get an idea of what Mike is like to fly with to far away destinations by reading here. Colleen and Mike are going again, as am I, this coming February. It should be fabulous. As long as I don't have to put up with him harassing the flight attendants for more pretzels again.
Labels: church life, friends, my life
Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger 8/13/2006 09:43:00 PM
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3 Comments:
Re: the Two Driver Theory.
You should be aware that scientists (a euphemism for "me") who have studied the phenomenon in obsessive detail have actually identified a Third Driver (not to be confused with a Second Shoot, although certainly in the same general, uh, genre): the smarta** who drives exactly the same speed as you because, you know, he's just messing with your head.
I can provide the notes documenting this finding if anyone's interested.
By 
Eric, at
14/8/06 13:52
(just sitting here, laughing, because it's true)
By Julie, at
14/8/06 16:20
I don't know how I missed this post, but you are one funny writer. I'm sure Mike had a ball with this post too.
Still chuckling...
By Jim, at
30/8/06 09:32
