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Why I've been breaking some internet ties.
written by Julie R. Neidlinger 6 comments link this postIt's not so easy for me to remain anonymous on the internet and keep my contact information to myself for the simple reason that my business and livelihood depends on people being able to contact me. The reason I often fret about this can be exemplified by this Bob Parsons' post, talking about the dangers of the internet.
It's not as if I didn't know this stuff before. It's not as if I'm not aware of the danger, aware that for every horrible example Parsons can give someone can probably chip in a positive. The problem is finding some kind of balance as well as coming to grips with the idea that, at this very moment, some sicko could be on my site thinking stuff I don't even want to know.
This was one slight reason I deleted my old blog and have tried to post in a different and generally less personal or slightly removed and clinical manner. I don't want a literal stranger feeling like they are my friend and forming a close attachment without me even knowing it. Blogging and dating websites are throwing open doors of opportunity, both good and bad, for people to meet and stalkers to find targets.
There's really not much I can do about it if I wish to maintain my website for my business as well as continue blogging to keep my site fresh with new content. It's a catch 22, and all I can say is that I'm aware of it.
Parsons has good ideas and lists of internet safety, but most experienced users already know them. I've heard them so much that I've become desensitized and I often catch myself letting my guard down with familiarity issues with people I've never met.
Parsons is right. I use signals I get from people when I am actually meeting and observing them in normal life to make a judgment call on whether I will have anything to do with them. You can't always pick up on these through the internet, particularly if someone is very good at lying.
So what do I do?
My posts are less personal, because frankly, I realized it wasn't my job to let other people live vicariously through me just as I shouldn't do that through someone else's blog. I cut back on comments on my old blog. At this point on this new blog, I've opened them up again, but I closed them off at the end of my old blog and at the start of this new one for the reasons I just discussed: I don't really know who is out there making them and what their intention is. So far, the comments haven't been out of line and so I've left them. And the numerous people that I've told to basically leave me alone through email have done so.
I hedge my bets. I try to cut off or reduce contact with people who have made me feel uncomfortable or uneasy through their random or continued email or blog comments, whether in reality they are "good" people or not. It's the only thing I have to go on, that inside uneasiness, and although it's hard for people like me who don't want to be rude or impolite, I see that it is very necessary. It's partly the reason I wrote the recent post on "life inserters," a light-hearted look at the real and problematic issue of people who force their way into your life.
So that was my recent litmus test when I realized there was a growing problem: if someone made me uneasy, whether or not I "believed" them to be good, I had to cut off contact. And if you're one of the people I asked to leave me alone, I apologize. It was nothing personal. It was all I had to go on, and I had to start somewhere. Anyone else out there doing something similar?
Hat Tip: Girl Friday.
Labels: blogging
Copyright (c) Julie R. Neidlinger 10/25/2005 12:53:00 PM
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6 Comments:
I'll try to curb my comments.
-Sgt Hook.
By 
, at
25/10/05 22:03
Heh.
By 
Julie, at
25/10/05 22:48
And then you ad a Chat link.
By , at
26/10/05 04:40
What? What did you say?
I was distracted by playing with Sloganizer, and wasn't paying attention.
Sorry.
By Gentleman Farmer, at
26/10/05 08:59
It's true. I may leave myself open for some of the very things I wrote about. To remedy that...
I've removed the Chat Link from the blog, though I have the function on the rest of my website so that I can talk with customers about thier orders and questions (which I have been doing).
I've removed anonymous commenting because again, leave your damn name. I had put it back in place on this blog so non-Blogger users could comment without a hassle but still leave their name manually (like Sgt Hook above). I get the sense that a lot of these anonymous comments are from regular readers who want to leave something "funny" or whatever but wuss out and don't use their name. No more.
By Julie, at
26/10/05 09:55
On off on off on off.
Oh the trials of a ND blogger.
Sorry Julie, I don't know what the solution is for someone who must opine on every topic, every experience big or small.
Every now and then you write something interesting, so please continue.
Started any fires lately? ;-)
By dusty, at
26/10/05 13:48
