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For whatever reason, on Christmas Eve, dad had become fixated on the pot of boiling potatoes on the stove. As condensation trickled down the side and hit the hot burner, hissing and snapping in the heat, he became adamant that the pot had a hole in it. “That pot has a hole in it,” he …

My friend gave me a gigantic two-pound peppermint stick candy, and I have spent about 45 minutes staring at it, trying to ascertain the best plan of action for consuming it. It’s huge. I’ve never seen such a large piece of candy. Reading the nutrition label and calculating the caloric intake on something that cyclopic …

So this is Christmas. There are the Christmas letters I’ve been steadily receiving. Facebook is like a year-long Christmas letter, always prompting me to remember how boring and unexciting my life is, how little I’ve achieved, how I’m not married and have no perfectly adorable kids doing adorable things, nor as thin or in shape …

I was sitting on the floor watching TV, while my friend was sitting in his chair. It’s not that there were not enough seats, but sometimes I just like sitting on the floor. We were watching the Indiana Jones’ movies on the USA Network, when a commercial came on featuring a woman opening a Christmas …

Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without a few household catastrophes. My sister Janet gave my mom a kind of sprayer nozzle for the kitchen sink. In theory, a person would simply screw it onto the faucet and that would be that. In actuality, however, the process involved: “I think it’s on there crooked, Jack.” “I …