Julie R. Neidlinger: Lone Prairie Art and Writing

Writing about clutter.

written by Julie R. Neidlinger 0 comments link this post

I don't know why I'm such a smarta** when it comes to the writing exercises at writers' group. I always write like I'm attempting to get something in McSweeney's.

Yesterday, at writers' group, we were to write about clutter. It felt a little to general -- I tend to lean towards weird writing prompts like our next week's assignment (which I contributed via a writing prompt book), which is to write on the topic of "someone found the Venus de Milo's arms."

Anyway, clutter.

I tapped my pen on my notebook and, with little further thought, decided to try some bad poetry.

Clutter
Rhymes with stutter.
And flutter.
Butter.
Like stutter it repeats without warning
the more you try to control it
the less success you have.

Like a fluttering bird
it drops
dropping(s)
randomly.
Though usually on the nearest empty counter.

Clutter is in no way like butter.

That sucked. I tried again.

Clutter as Metaphor
Clutter is like grammar: double letters, out of control.
Clutter is like iced mocha: not really. No, it isn't.

Terrible. That's the problem with meeting in a coffee shop; everything becomes related to the iced mocha you want.

I decided to go with a list route and be done with it.

Things said upon discovering clutter:

Grandma, we thought we'd lost you.
I guess dairy products need to be refrigerated.
Hmm. A pink slip. That would explain the absence of a paycheck this week.
Let's just buy a new table.
Check out my unique filing system.
I haven't been able to find my blood pressure pills for weeks.
We have six cats but have only been able to find one for some time now.
The service plans from Best Buy seem to be breeding!
You can never have too many Hummels.
That table is my scrapbook.
Grandma, are you still there?

We had a few minutes left, so I decided to further cement my status as Most Unwilling To Participate As A Serious Writer and come up with the following beauty:

The Clutter That Wasn't
"You're room is spotless!"
"I know!"
"I guess we're done here."

Why do I write like this in writers' group, when others try to be serious and when I can be overly serious on my own blog?

I know why...