The Direct TV reception at the farm is suffering due to the aggressive and proud growth of a cottonwood in the front yard. Granted, if it rains heavily, the signal would deteriorate anyway, and I would chalk it up to God crying over the crap on TV and his tears forcing us to stop watching (or something like that), but the tree issue is one that has presented itself in the last year or so.
“Whatever you do,” I said to dad as we discussed the situation, “don’t you cut down that tree. I love that tree. It’s huge.”
“I’m not going to cut down the tree,” he said.
“Don’t have Jerry trim it, either,” I said, thinking of how my brother had “trimmed” the trees so well at my grandparents’ where he now lives that there were few trees left. I believe he suffers from Chainsaw-itis, which is a syndrome that overtakes people who are operating a chainsaw, causing them to see everything as needing to be cut.
Realizing how tall the tree was, I felt I needed to offer an additional admonishment. “I hope you don’t plan on trying to do it yourself. That’s way too high. It’s too dangerous.”
He paused. “I was thinking of shooting at the branches with my rifle.”
“Are you kidding me?”
He neither answered yes nor no.
I don’t think he was actually kidding. I began to envision the scenario and the amount of ammunition, planning, and curse words it would take as well as the general fallout from such a method of tree branch removal.
I don’t know.
It might work.
Regardless, it would be great video and possibly even the talk at the lunch table in town.
I’ve been on a “shot gun Logging” trip before. It works, though its not the most effective way to go about it. Its rather expensive (due to the cost of the shells needed) and takes a fair amount of time. On the other hand, it makes for a great day of entertainment.
Personally, I’d go for the scenario when the lovely cottonwood hears any kind of danger approaching, opens its eyes, raises up standing, and booms out in Old Entish, “Hroom, hm, what do we have here?.. ta-runda runda runda rom!”
This kind of operation can be done. As Anna said, it is messy and expensive, but it does work. And you are right, Julie, in thinking that it could be loads of fun.
I wish I could just sit back and watch all the action and words begin!