A couple of friends are going through a new house nightmare thanks to the ineptitude of the professionals helping them.

That would be helping, as in “helping.”

In an email to me, my friend referred to Fannie Mae as having “stupid quasi-government status.”

The more I thought about that, the more horrific it seemed. I replied back to my friend in an email.

“Quasi-government status is worse than pure up-front government status. Why? Same red tape and inability to function, but with an identity crisis thrown in for fun.”

Perhaps the best way to handle such a situation is to be a quasi-citizen, someone who had the necessary papers and legal rights, but was keying the cars and letting the air out of the tires back in the parking lot.