One of the reasons I thinned out the lists of “friends” on social networking sites recently is that some, in their profile, listed themselves as “spiritual” and would write updates that drove me insane. It was like a daily dose of intellectual anesthetic. It’s not that thinking of ourselves as spiritual is incorrect. We are spiritual beings in a physical body, this is true. It’s just the idea that listing one’s religion as “spiritual”, or referring to oneself as someone who writes about “spirituality”, has traditionally annoyed me.

I understand the desire to shun restrictive religious titles, but spiritual? What does that even mean, anyway?

If I don’t have religion, but am spiritual, does that mean when someone cuts me off in traffic, instead of hollering “God Bless You!” or a comment about karma, I instead offer up a more abstract “F**k you!” with higher quality adverbs? Am I making up a personal philosophy on the fly each day? Am I grabbing six books off of the featured spirituality table at Barnes and Noble and combining the whole lot? If you’re “spiritual”, do you believe in anything? Is it a mere acknowledgement that there’s a higher power out there, but you don’t need 12 steps to admit it?

To me, it seems it’s a way of saying you believe in something, but you don’t want to be pinned down just in case you want to change it up tomorrow. This is a belief in nothing.

The most difficult for me to stomach are Christians who claim to write about “spirituality.” This means they are going to highlight Jesus and his anti-religious-establishment actions and efforts at religious exclusivity, and ignore such things as his admonishment to cut off your hand if it caused you to sin. Romans 3:23 is not going to work if we are god-within.

Why is that the only Jesus they write about?

We love the Jefferson Bible because it shuts Paul up, forgetting that Jesus had some hard, hard teachings.

It’s nice to think of Social Justice Jesus, or the Endless Grace For All Sexual and Relational Sins Jesus, or the Religious Hypocrites and Exclusiveness Is Bad Jesus, or even the He Never Talked About Such-and-Such A Topic So It’s Not A Sin Jesus — all popular — but the No Wait, Sin Really Is A Seriously Big Deal Jesus is not so fun.

And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. – Matthew 5:30

What we have there is sin, removal, and the mention of hell. What we have there is the up-front acknowledgment that yeah, you might have to do without something you really think you need in this life because there is an eternity at stake that is much more important. Both hands would be nice but I may have to do without, even if everyone else gets to keep their hands. It might not seem fair. Fit that into your Jesus Was A Great Prophet/Man Whatever Makes Me Happy As Long As I Am Concerned About Social Justice Rodney King Nailed It and I Write About Spirituality essay of the week.

Somebody got nailed, that’s for sure, and it was for much more than because we couldn’t all get along. The crucifixion is hard to write about if you tiptoe around sin.

There are a lot of things we just don’t want to cut off. I would be in favor of removing the dominant writing hands of the merely “spiritual”, however, and turning their pens over to the atheists. At least they know the Bible.

Don’t just be “spiritual” and figure that’s good enough. All that does is sell scented candles and journals to gullible women 30 minutes after Oprah goes off the air. I want to tell you to believe in Jesus, but right now I’m sort of falling down the rabbit hole so I’m not a great example.