You’ll have to pardon the details that are about to begin.

Today at work, I needed to visit the restroom. Too much tea, perhaps. As I was sitting in the middle stall of the restroom that we share with the neighboring hair school, one of the students came in and approached the far stall.

“OMG!” she said, quickly backing up and heading into the other available stall. Her peroxide blonde hair about stood on end, I imagine, from the sound of her voice. Whatever was in that stall was likely disgusting.

I don’t really care.

What I couldn’t get past was hearing someone speak the letters “O” and “M” and “G”, a text messaging abbreviation, instead of the actual words. We have, oh joyous day, come to a place in the demise of the English language in which we save on syllables by speaking the nonsensical abbreviations we used to save on text characters. Will we soon find ourselves limited to speaking in only a few syllables, a kind of Tweet speak?

I really hate text abbreviations; I don’t even like to see the computer shorthand used to accommodate Twitter’s 140-character limit somehow extended into formal or verbal communication. While I don’t think that the restroom is necessarily the place for formal communication, it astonishes me a bit to realize that some people actually walk around thinking in such abbreviations, and therefore, saying them. TISL.

I’ve always understood that you know you’ve really learned a foreign language when you find yourself sometimes thinking in that language. TTTT, I don’t relish the continuation of this speaking aloud the text message gibberish, whether it happens in the shitter or not.

Whatever the case, whether the hair school student was a WIT or glued to her mobile phone more than she was a book or magazine which contained fully-grown words, I only wish that she would GAFHK and experience her natural language in a way that made her realize that the word “please” did not have a “z” in it.

I can proudly say that I DUNA. (DBEYR)

If someone says “LOL” aloud, however, you are required to pound them into the ground. If something is funny enough to cause a person to laugh out loud, they should actually do it.

I admit that I took a peak in the third stall. I couldn’t not.

OMG.