I’m not much for banning books, but, in this case, I can support burning them:
Volunteers have reported that ‘a large number’ of elderly customers are snapping up hardbacks as cheap fuel for their fires and stoves.
[...]
Workers at one charity shop in Swansea, in south Wales, described how the most vulnerable shoppers were seeking out thick books such as encyclopaedias for a few pence because they were cheaper than coal.
One assistant said: “Book burning seems terribly wrong but we have to get rid of unsold stock for pennies and some of the pensioners say the books make ideal slow-burning fuel for fires and stoves. A lot of them buy up large hardback volumes so they can stick them in the fire to last all night.”
Book burning seems terribly wrong when it’s about the content. In this case, it’s little more than gussied-up logs. It isn’t as though these book burners are burning up original scrolls from the ancient library of Alexandria; someone already beat them to it.
This all leads me to think of the ridiculous scene from the movie The Day After Tomorrow in which, in order to provide heat in the New York Public Library during an event of some kind of Al Gore’s Instant Ice Age, the soon-to-be-frozen people made a move to burn…a Gutenberg Bible. This, of course, provided for a most pretentious soliloquy on the printed word sans religion by a man who saved the Bible from burning, which led the chilled folks to head for the law volumes instead. I happen to know, since it was a public library and the public doesn’t really demand Gutenberg Bibles or law books, that there were acres and acres of Danielle Steele and Dean Koontz books crying out to be burned for heat.
…use their Kindle as kindling…
It’s survival situations like these that have made me quite interested in eBooks for my own personal vanity publishing. I’m a terrible writer; it seems unlikely that someone would use their Kindle as kindling in the event of encroaching glaciers, no matter how many digital pages it took me to describe a sunset. The digital page seems a safer place for lousy writers in these events, which are indicative of advanced stages of global warming.
Al Gore, incidentally, has several books out about global warming that should light up nicely. They are printed with soy inks and will not add toxicity to the room.
I once burned a whole set of encyclopedias. They were from 1950-something, and the original owner had bought every update volume through 1990-something. We lived in a very small house at the time, and they kept us warm for for a week. I estimate a $40-60 heating value. Plus, I can pretend they contributed to global warming, thereby decreasing everyone’s heat bill, and giving me a warm feeling to this very day.
Mom and I talked about the encyclopedia thing; we have a large set from when I was a kid. What do you need them for, at this point? There was a family that had to do the same thing when the parents passed away, because no one is going to buy them or want them.
I would have a hard time lighting them up (I used to love reading them as a kid), but it’s a lot of books and I can’t imagine hauling them around or finding a place for them.
Frankly, using old books that have no obvious value as heat is a pretty good idea, especially in areas where recycling isn’t an option. Someone should go around picking up old books people don’t want, and then resell them on the cheap for heating purposes.
You, my friend, are not a “terrible writer!”
On the contrary, I find your writing to be wonderfully insightful and delightfully whimsical. Oh, that sounds so wordy…you write “real good!!” : )