How many throat lozenges does it take to recoup from one monster truck radio commercial?
There is to be a monster truck rally here in Bismarck in the coming weeks, which has led some radio stations to ponder who would win in a competition between Santa Claus and a monster truck. Mainly, I think of S.E.T.I. and how, even if there was intelligent life out there, they would have nothing to do with us once those particular radio waves hit their antennae.
The man who voices the monster truck commercials surely must walk away from a recording session with his hand on his throat. He probably has a British accent and a fondness for Earl Grey tea, but to earn a living must create monster truck excitement. The growly and loud nature of his descriptions of trucks named “Grave Digger” and “Who Cares” and “I Have A Headache From All The Exhaust In This Indoor Arena” surely must mean some vocal cord and throat abuse occurs.
I know of this vocal abuse first hand.
During my three-year stint as a basketball cheerleader, I carried Chloraseptic throat spray in my duffel bag and used it as often as the other two Indispensable Sprays: hairspray and deodorant spray. At half-time, we’d run back to the changing room and my throat, sore and raw from hollering cheers above the din of the crowd, welcomed the numbing spritz.
I will not be attending, nor cheering for, any monster truck rally.
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Funny. Well I’ve heard anything from drinking a cold Coke before a performance (attributed to an opera singer), to using a warm honey-lemon-ginger-tea mixture called Gollum juice (attested by LOTR’s Andy Serkis), to using electronic post-production effects (witnessed at an professional voice production studio back in the early 90′s) can help accentuate and prolong a person’s voice. Of course today there are all kinds of voice synthesis options also available.
–I still think one of the best pieces of voice work was in the movie, “The Fifth Element” (1997) with character DJ Ruby Rhod: “What was that honey? It was BAD! It had no fire, no energy, no nothing! So tomorrow from 5 to 7 will you PLEASE act like you have more than a two word vocabulary. It must be green.”
The big question in MY mind is, those people who voice the very lengthy disclaimers on TV and radio ads. How do they do that? They’ll squeeze a 50 word paragraph in just over five seconds. Amazing.
This is a new and surprising piece of information: “my three-year stint as a basketball cheerleader.” It needs to be validated with photographic evidence or, at the very least, illustrated with the “Hall of Shame” portrait for the appropriate year.
Fisherman’s Friend lozenges are my throat-soother of choice — especially good at taming tickles. But stores here are inconsistent about carrying them.