Over yonder in the wild lands of Facebook, located somewhere between the first and fourth circles of hell, folks are using their status update to spread a healthcare message.

“No one should die because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke because they get sick. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.”

That’s nice.

I contemplated what I could do to change the world from the ease of my living room chair, via Facebook (which egregiously concludes that I have some sort of status with which to update, in the first place).

I considered a three-part diatribe on tort reform, insurance reform, and no longer allowing drug companies to advertise directly to the public. I considered thoughts on insurance companies rewarding healthy behavior in the form of lower deductibles, payments, or other incentives. I considered the obvious comparison to Cash for Clunkers payouts to how government-run healthcare would function. I contemplated commentary on everything from our food supply to our sedentary culture, but, in the end, I went with the following:

“No one should die because they happen to live in a third world country without clean running water, access to mosquito control, adequate food, war and rumors of war, drought, and education on basic hygiene.” You know. Because it’s not just all about us Americans.

This is because I am Holier Than Thou, and also because I couldn’t stop myself from the nonsense of politicizing my social network status. We Americans have a seriously skewed perspective on pretty much everything in life, including how to use social networking.

I certainly don’t want people to go broke or die from lack of health care, but that happens millions of times over everywhere in the world every day. If this were really my concern, that the great abstract “No One” should die, then this would have certainly been an issue long before the health care debate reared its head with evident affect on our country. What that status update should really say is “No American should die” because the question is really one of money (see use of the word “afford) and not one of access.

It’s always money.

I know what it is to skip medical attention because of the price tag. I have always had to pay for my own health insurance, which I fondly call “hit by a truck insurance”, since the deductible is sky-high so I can afford the premiums. Unless, as my mother told me when a horse kicked me in the leg and chipped the bone (can still feel it today), I “can’t walk on it”, I’ll probably skip the doctor.

It is what it is. I’d just rather not have the government any more involved. There are lots of people like that, I think, though probably not the guy who got upset about government meddling in his Medicare.

Humorously, people are now taking to their Facebook stati to post bastardized versions of the above (much like what I did, except think “funny”), as well as add a few addendum political thoughts that they wish to impress upon the people they know as friends and who they are involved with in virtual Mafia Wars and farming.

For example, there’s a riff on day care and being stuck with a job and how no one should find themselves in that position. No more “John Doe is walking the dog” blandness in the status line; instead, we have statements of belief.

I forsee a great promise to Facebook status updates as the new Howard Dean Yell from Nutterville. Because really, you can’t impress your political beliefs on your virtual friends nearly enough.

Or, as comedian Liam McEaney put it much more eloquently on his Facebook status:

“Instead of pasting a status update about my support for health care, I’m going to write a letter to my representatives in Congress. They might be able to do more about it than the people I went to grade school with.”