The latest Catster.com email newsletter — (I’ll just pause and let you get it out of your system before I go on) — contained a link to an article detailing the Top Five Tips for Photographing Your Cat. Though I rolled my eyes a bit, somewhat like when I see the magazine Cat Fancy and wonder how they’ve come up with articles to fill it all these years, I understand that Catster, as a serious business entity — (I’ll just pause and let you get it out of your system before I go on) — needs to create informative materials that take the serious cat lover to heart.
I like cats well enough. I have no scandalous microwave episodes in my background. However, I can’t seem to force myself to write serious written material for cat lovers because I just find it either self-explanatory or completely asinine.
Besides, I already know all that I need to know about photographing a cat. Here is my list, for your reading pleasure:
- Put sticky stuff on your cat. The cat will hate it, but who cares? It makes for a funny photo and you probably have BandAids around the house, anyway.
- Remember to dress your cat with style. Cats love to play dress-up. Love it.
- Keep tuna handy. If you have more than one cat, promote harmony for your photo shoot by dousing one cat with the juice and oil from a tuna can.
- Don’t shy away from racy photos. If you’re cat will do it, take the picture. You can worry about blackmail and reputation later.
- Use captions. Provide your viewer with supportive background material.
- Don’t neglect the holidays! Cats love a chance to celebrate; take photos!
- Use your cat for political gain. The visual image is powerful; use your cat to promote whatever message you feel best exemplified.
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- Put sticky stuff on your cat.
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- Packing tape helps kitty get ready for traveling.
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- See the happiness a new dress brings.
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- Tuna promotes multiple-cat harmony!
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- If your cat is bold, take the shot.
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- Be dramatic with your captions!
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- Let kitty get in on the holiday hijinx!
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- These cats want world peace.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I can give you a few tufts of Brutus, they seem to be all over the floor!
I already have some yarn made out of his hair!
I was thinking about knitting him a sweater because that would be ironic and possibly weird, but I don’t know if I can pull it off. I can only knit…scarves.
Julie, you are hilarious! That was the best laugh I’ve had in several days. Thank you.
I have some experience with the tape method. Good times…
I now have 2 chihuahuas and no cats. Probably karma or something.