Alas, I failed to obtain victory in the last round of the board game of The Settlers of Catan. And, the nature of me being prone to unwilling to accept loss gracefully, I knew something had to be done.

First, of course, there was the “Settlers of Catan Win-Win Trophy” jar, which was instituted recently. The rules are that the winner gets to enjoy watching/egging on those who lose put a quarter in the jar. The quarters will then be used, at some point, to fund an extravagant time of fun (probably ice-cream; it’s not a huge jar). In this way, everyone wins.

Of course, I still would rather win than suffer the placebo of “we’re all winners” as my quarter clanks into the bottom of the jar.

So, I came up with an ingenious method: board-side counseling. I created a kind of “cheerleader” deck of cards that I will place next to me as I play the next game, drawing a card for support and encouragement (and possible revenge ideas) each time I make another bonehead play and find myself plummeting further into the pit of loser-dom.

I have made these quickie cards (you have to cut them apart yourself) available for all mankind. They are in the form of a document entitled “When You’re Losing: Counseling on Deck.” You can get your own deck for just 99 cents in the Lone Prairie Bookstore.