My sister Janet, and her sister-in-law Shannon, came to Bismarck yesterday. They were here to pick up a large weight machine she’d bought from a guy who lived in the north part of town. Before heading out to load the machine into her pickup truck, we decided to grab some food at Hardee’s.
Which I call Lardee’s.
“The last time I was at a Lardee’s was when they made the switch over to the new menu,” I said as we waited in line. “I went up to the counter to order a Hot Ham ‘n’ Cheese and the woman repeatedly told me they didn’t have them anymore.”
“Really.”
“Yes. At some point the manager or another worker comes up behind her and says that no, they didn’t have the Hot Ham ‘n’ Cheese, but that they had a Big Hot Ham ‘n’ Cheese, and would I like that instead?”
We laughed a bit.
“I’m going to order a Hot Ham ‘n’ Cheese and see what transpires,” I said, moving up to the till. I refuse to be coerced into tagging multiple adjectives onto my order. Until the sandwiches come in three sizes, I refuse to call it “big” when it really isn’t.
“I’d like a Hot Ham ‘n’ Cheese,” I said to the young kid behind the till.
“OK…two?”
What?
“No. Just…one.”
“Uh, OK.”
Things progressed from there. Somehow Shannon ended up with my meal on her tab, and my sister, who wanted to buy me lunch, repaid her for my sandwich with coins from a ziploc bag (“It’s my garage sale money!” she said as we laughed at her wallet.)
We were then given our to-go order numbers. Janet’s was quickly called, but Shannon’s and my order didn’t seem to be ready. They kept hollering out the number 22 until finally we asked if that was our order.
“What number are you?” the woman at the counter asked.
“65.”
“This is order 22. This is yours.”
“Oh. Sure.”
Back at my apartment I found my allegedly Big sandwich smashed at the bottom of the bag looking more like a Flat Hot Ham ‘n’ Cheese, and Shannon found her receipt to contain evidence of being overcharged.
I decided that my next trip to Lardee’s would be one of ordering a Varied Adjective Sandwich. I mean, why just “big”? Why not “roundish” or “flattened” or “overpriced”?
This are all minor things, and part of a very minor story. It is, however, part of the fun I had with my sister yesterday.
