I remember being involved in a slight disagreement during a Sunday school class discussion in which I gently suggested that the death penalty did not fit the idea of being pro-life. The response from one fellow in the class was that he was “pro innocent life.”

“So we, the non-innocent, get to determine who deserves to live and die, then,” I responded.

I don’t remember how the conversation went from there, but it was the beginning of my thinking and re-thinking of what it means to be pro-life.

Pro-life is being for life, and not for death, simple as that. It has nothing to do with “choice”, as we are fooled into believing when the argument seems to be pro-life vs. pro-choice. That is an argument akin to being pro-apple vs. pro-basket.

Pro-life doesn’t want anyone to die, no matter how vile the person is or what they’ve done. It doesn’t take pleasure in the pain and suffering and end of life. Pro-life doesn’t see disability or sickness as a reason to end life. Pro-life does not seek death as a revenge payment. Pro-life is never about “I”, but is always about “you.”

Life is valued for what it is and was and could be and, if all that is negated somehow or is too difficult for our fallible human eyes to see, then life is valued for the mere fact that God gives life and it is not ours to take away. He says who lives and dies, who is born and who is not. He says who is disabled and who isn’t and puts the value on the people we see as worthless. Pro-life means seeing the value in all human life even if it makes no sense to value what is before us and more sense to put it to death.

Unfortunately, pro-life for Christians has gotten all tangled up.

It is easy to despise war with its flag-draped caskets and weeping families, and the “collateral damage” of the innocents — shown in dramatic photographs and footage — that has been done in war-torn countries. It is less easy to drum the same drum for the millions of chopped up babies tossed out with the day’s garbage with few photos and news stories and tallied counts, babies that don’t get a name or a memorial.

It is easy to argue just-war theory and pray for God to be on our side while we bomb others (some our own Christian brothers and sisters!) in accordance with what is human fairness and repayment while forgetting how we aren’t getting what we deserve.

It is easy to forget that being pro-life involves more than just preventing the act of death, but that it also is concerned with bringing comfort to the pain, hope to the hopeless, and ease to the weary.

If you say you are against war and torture, you had better be against abortion.

If you say you want to end poverty and human suffering, you might want to rethink your harsh statements on immigration as well as your feelings on saving the environment and what that might entail for some people in third-world countries who might feel more of the brunt of that than just separating the glass and the plastic each week.

If you can think of certain cases where it would better if someone were not born, or it would be better if someone were made to die, then you are not pro-life.

If you think birth control is merely an issue of convenience yet claim to believe that life begins at conception, you might not be pro-life.

Pro-life is a huge weight to carry, an all-encompassing view of humanity and personal sacrifice and inconvenience. It causes you to be nearly sick at the sight of human suffering. It means being thankful for all life, valuing it all, never wanting to be the one responsible for ending it.

And if you are truly pro-life, there is  never any easy answer to be found in political messages from any candidate, because politics is quick to sacrifice life for the dollar in answer to the mob’s cry for what they think they need.

The moment I become more concerned about my life and what’s best for me, I cease being pro-life; it is only a few short steps through compromise before I’ll trod on the backs of other life to make my own better. Being pro-life is very difficult. It is a daily battle, since everything around us — all our common sense and pragmatic logic — seems to seep with death.

I can’t say that I am successfully pro-life.