::In response to a recent comment which led me to think I ought to address a couple of misconceptions. The next post is here.::

A comment on a post over at the flying blog* made reference to my claim of being a fearful person, and that it seemed like I was lying to say that I was fearful in view of the choices and activities in my life.

Fear is either going to own you or spur you. Fear is a useful tool, a great friend, as long as it is not the one running the show. As over-used as the phrase is, it’s true: Without fear, there is no courage.

If you don’t have fear, there’s a certain hollowness and shallowness to life. Fear both heightens drive and appreciation of life.

I am afraid of many things. You wouldn’t believe what I write in journals that no one sees but me. I have lots of fears. Some are nearly crippling.

I’m afraid of failure, in particular, which is why I know I keep trying new things so that I can keep experiencing the initial failures that we all go through when learning something new; it is important that I continually do this. Otherwise, the fear of failure wins, and I just settle in with a life of mediocrity.

Do not think a person to be without fear just because they aren’t afraid to face them. To make that assumption is, in a sense, is unfair; it makes it seem as if everything is easy and natural and lucky, which it is not. Nearly everything I’ve done (Karate, Nicaragua, etc.) has been in response to something I know is giving me problems, that scares me, that I need to face or be owned by.

It is never good policy to think that people who seem brave, or seem happy, or seem to have less problems, actually are those things. Some just refuse to bring their crap to work or drag it around everywhere they go, and work very hard to beat it down into submission. I frequently fall into pits of despair and know how easy it is to stay there versus fighting to get back out. I understand that.

But.

Everyone has hurts. Everyone has problems. Everyone knows pain, knows rejection, knows fear. We all face that in different ways. Don’t judge by what you see outside. There’s generally much battle going on inside all of us.

This was the second time, in the past month or so, that someone made the assumption that I was carefree and without troubles. My mother, who got to watch me burst into tears and bawl uncontrollably about that, just three weeks ago, could tell you otherwise.

No one escapes fear, and no one escapes hurt. No one.

* I have since deleted the thread; I really need to stress that while I welcome comments, they must be applicable to the post, and that the comments section not be used as a way to communicate with me directly. I did not mind what the person had to say, but it had very little to do with the post and I believed it inappropriate for the post for inevitable future readers who would not come with the background understanding brought by the reader.